


Survive the Night

by Clarke_kom_eden



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes are Best Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, and roomates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 04:25:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 23,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14512506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clarke_kom_eden/pseuds/Clarke_kom_eden
Summary: Clarke is a struggling actress who finally gets her big break on the show 'Survive the Night'. If only her co-star wasn't such a jerk.Bellamy's not sure about his co-star either, after all her mom's the producer, of course she got the part.A bellarke enemies to friends, to enemies to friends, to enemies to friends, to lovers slow burn, misunderstandings, tension, friendship, pining, fighting, before finally...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's finished! Hope you enjoy, Thankyou!

As Clarke stormed out of the art Gallery, Riley followed close behind her, and he would not stop talking.  
'I really like you, Clarke, I do, I just don't think I'm good enough for you.’   
Clarke stopped dead, and slowly turned to face him. She knew what was coming next. The 'You're amazing, you can do so much better’, self deprecating bunch of crap, that was just a mask for what was really going on. She was being dumped.   
She let him ramble on a little while longer. She knew she should just leave it, just walk away, but she was fed up. Just as he was listing all his flaws, she interrupted him.  
'Yes, that’s all true, Riley, you're terrible, but if I’m willing to look past all of that, why can't you?’ Her tone was thick with mock sincerity, and he looked at her, stunned.  
'It’s just, you’re so smart, and I'm such an idiot…’  
'Again, true. And yet, I’m the one being dumped.’   
She wasn't really upset about the breakup itself, more angry at his reasoning behind it. He clearly didn't pick up on this, and tried to rub her arm, looking at her as if she were pathetic.  
'I know this must be hard for you…’   
She stepped back and threw her hands up in response.  
'No. No what's hard is the fact that I'm standing here listening to your ridiculous excuses when the truth is you’re intimidated. Yes, I’m smart, and opinionated, and yes, sometimes there will be things that I understand better than you, and that bothers you. You can't stand being the less intelligent one in the relationship.’ She didn't mean to sound arrogant, but she knew this dance all too well, and she had seen it coming. She hadn't smiled and simpered everytime he had tried to mansplain some bullshit to her. She hadn’t shot him down or told him he was wrong either, she had just tried to engage him in a discussion. Clearly with this guy, that was the wrong thing to do. She couldn't muster the energy to care anymore, so she threw a few more choice words his way and left him standing outside the gallery opened mouthed.

When she arrived home, she was surprised to see Raven already home from work, as she usually finished much later. She threw herself onto the couch next to her and snuggled down.  
'Ray, what’s wrong with me?’   
Raven put her arm around her and rested her chin on top of Clarke's head.  
'Nothing. You are perfect. It’s everybody else, they're stupid.’ Clarke pouted in agreement.  
'This guy, he just wanted me to nod and smile and look pretty. I shouldn't have told him I was an actress. He automatically thought that meant bimbo. There are plenty of smart actresses out there, why do people still think that?’  
Raven sighed and hugged her tighter.  
'People like their stereotypes. Makes them feel safe, everybody in neat boxes.’  
Clarke loved coming home to Raven. She was so wise beyond her years and could always comfort her.  
'Well, that's it. I’m done with dating. I can't do it. I'm no good at it. Look at my relationships. Niylah, kind, sweet, amazing friend, but no passion. Lexa, nothing but passion, neither of us would ever back down or compromise. Riley, wanted me to be someone I'm not, and I just, can't do that.’   
As she ranted, Raven got up and made a pitcher of some insane cocktail she had invented, with too much of everything -except mixer. It was disgusting, but Raven was very proud of it. Clarke continued,   
'But, then, maybe I should change. I mean, I’m the common factor, right? Maybe I’m the problem?’   
With that Raven jumped in front of her, grabbing her arms and shaking her.  
'You listen to me Clarke Griffin. Don't you ever change. Ever. Not for anyone.’  
'Ok, ok stop shaking me!’ Clarke fell into a fit of laughter. She wasn't serious really, of course she’d never change. She couldn't if she wanted too, she knew herself too well and she was way too stubborn for that. 'I just, I want to find that perfect middle ground. I want someone to challenge me and support me? Someone I can be friends with, but who I’m also crazy attracted to. Is that too much to ask?’ She let out a long exaggerated sigh.   
Raven eyed her and responded.  
'Yes, you spoilt bitch! It's way too much!’  
Clarke snatched up her drink and downed it quickly.  
'Then we’re gonna need a lot more of these.’


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke waited nervously for her turn to audition. The room in which she sat felt more like a dentist's office then a TV studio. The walls were purposely painted the colour of plaster and the air was stuffy and warm. She tapped her chair with her nails and stared out of the window. It was just her and 2 others waiting now, a pretty girl with thick, dark curls, and a handsome guy in a beanie reading a book. As time ticked on, the audition room door opened and a girl came out, escorted by one of the producers. The producer asked the dark haired girl to go through next, but before following on, she stopped to talk to Clarke.  
'How are you feeling princess? Not too nervous? It shouldn't be much longer, we saved you till last.’ Clarke felt her cheeks burning.  
'Mom, please, I don't want any special treatment. Please just let me audition like everyone else.’ She was so embarrassed. She’d had no idea her mom was linked to the project when she’d gotten the script, and when she found out, initially it had put her off. She never wanted anyone to think her mom had gotten her jobs, but this time, she had really fallen in love with the character. It wasn’t often a strong female lead came up, and she was getting really tired of playing 'cute blonde girl’, so in the end she decided to go for it.  
'I’m sorry, I just know you're gonna be great. I'll see you in a little while.’ Abby kissed the top of Clarke's head and headed back through the door. All through this interaction, Clarke could feel the beanie guys eyes on her. She looked up to see him smirking, and felt instantly defensive.  
'Something funny?’ She tried to sound tough, but regretted it immediately.  
'Oh of course not, princess. Guess we know who's gonna get the part.’ His voice was deep and gravelly, but his tone was almost playful.  
'It's not like that!’ She argued, hating the way she sounded, but before she could explain, the guy continued.  
'I just feel bad for these other girls, that's all, coming all this way for nothing, but I guess they have to at least pretend like they didn't just hand you the part.’   
Clarke wanted to defend herself, but felt it was probably pointless, he clearly thought he knew everything, why should she waste her time on him?  
'Believe what you like.’ She tried so hard not to let it bother her, but she could still see him smirking. ‘Why are you even here?’ She threw at him, ‘Weren't the guys auditions this morning?’ Surprisingly, he answered.  
'I missed them, but I guess they liked me so much they gave me a second chance.’ He threw down the book he had been reading and stretched his arms up behind his head, clearly flexing for her benefit.  
'So you can't even be bothered to make your audition, but you're happy to throw accusations at me?!’ She couldn't believe how arrogant he was.  
'I was busy.’ He shrugged casually, ‘And you are awfully defensive for someone who says it's 'not like that’. Have I touched a nerve?’   
She felt her blood boiling, but just as she was about to retaliate, the dark haired girl came back out and her mother called her through for her audition. As she walked through the door, she heard a sarcastic, 'Good luck, princess.’ 

As she entered the room, she was so riled up she wasn't even sure she’d be able to get her words out, but fortunately for her, the audition scene happened to be her character having a huge argument with someone, so she channelled her rage and used it. It might have been her best audition yet.

That evening, she vented to Raven about the guy who she now referred to as ‘beanie jerk’.  
'Oh, and I haven't even told you the worst part. He kept calling me princess. It's bad enough when my mom does it. Uhh, he was just so smug about it.’  
'Wow. I’ve never seen you this worked up before.’ Raven had sat back and allowed Clarke to vent for quite some time, but knew Clarke well enough to work out what was going on. ‘How hot was he?’ She raised her eyebrows. Clarke was about to protest, but quickly relented.  
'So hot. Seriously. Good arms, deep eyes. Ugh, but he's such a jerk.’ Raven laughed at her. She was hopeless, but she loved her for it.  
'Hey, can you imagine if you both get the parts? You’ll get to see him all the time!’ She teased.  
'That's not even a little funny. Let's change the subject. How's your work going?’ Ravens smile faded as looked down into her drink.  
'It’s, it’s not happening. The company lost its funding. The project can’t go ahead, so, they had to let me go.’   
All Clarke could do was throw herself at Raven and hold her tightly. Raven had been so excited about this job, it was her dream, working and designing, something to do with renewable energy. Clarke hated herself for not being able to recall the exact details, and couldn't believe Raven hadn't told her it had fallen through. She had let her rant on and on about the audition and about beanie jerk. How had she not noticed Ravens mood the past couple of days? She suddenly felt like the worst friend in the world.  
'I don't deserve you, you know that right?’ It was all Clarke could think to tell her.  
'I know. I’m awesome.’ She sighed and relaxed into Clarke's hug.

Later that evening, the call she had been waiting for finally came. Clarke had actually gotten the role of ‘Nicki’ on 'Survive the Night’. It was basically an angsty romantic drama, but set in a future post war world. The premise was a little overdone, but the script was great. The studio wanted to move quickly, already commissioning 13 episodes, so Clarke had to be at the table read the very next day. She hardly had a chance to get excited. She called her mom to make her promise not to tell anyone they were related.  
'Mom, of course I’m not ashamed of you! I’m so proud of your accomplishments, but you have to see it’ll look bad for me. The daughter of Abby Kane gets the lead? We have different last names, no-one will know unless they ask. I just want to have a chance to get to know everyone as me, I don't want them thinking there was any nepotism. Please, for me?’   
Her mom was still a little upset, so her stepdad took the phone and assured Clarke that he would talk with her and get her to understand.   
Clarke had been so happy for her mom when she and Marcus had met, she truly deserved to be happy, and Marcus was a really great guy. He always supported Abby's career and had given her a renewed confidence. Clarke couldn't help it, at times she was a little envious of their relationship. They were crazy about each other, and they made each other better. It was something she began to wonder if she'd ever have. She knew she was only 23, and was so lucky to have her incredible friends and family, but still, at times, she felt lonely for a partner.


	3. Chapter 3

Walking into the table read was as surreal as it could get for Clarke. She was still a novice at this. Since leaving college she had really only done a few small roles in the odd TV episode. This was a real show, a real set, a role with lines! She didn't think anything could possibly bring her down from this high, until, as she scoped out the room, she saw a familiar beanie bobbing around. She tried to make herself seem small as she mingled with the other cast members, producers and writers in the meeting room, but then he clocked her.  
'Princess! I was wondering when you’d arrive. So you got the part huh? Shocker!’ That smirk once again stretched across his face, and she could feel her anger bubbling up inside, but she was determined not to let it get the best of her this time. She took a breath, counted to 5 in her head, then smiled at him.  
'Yes, I did. And congratulations to you too. Are you playing Seth?’   
Seth was the lead male role, and, from the way the pilot script was written, seemed like he was going to be Nicki’s love interest.  
'Ahh, sadly, no. I’m just the best friend. Sorry to disappoint you.’  
Her response was instantly sarcastic.  
'Oh, yes, I'm devastated, really.’ She didn’t intend to lower herself to unpleasant banter with him, so she went back to trying to be nice. ‘But the friend, Mason, right? That's a great part too.’  
Bellamy eyed her curiously, trying to figure her out. He could see she was trying her hardest not to let him annoy her, but he had been quite enjoying pushing her buttons and eliciting a reaction. She was very cute when she was angry.  
'Yes, it is a great part, thanks.’ He replied, then he continued, 'Though I don't really appreciate being patronised.’ He had her now and he knew it. He watched as his comment landed, and she couldn't help but respond.  
'I was not patronising you, you ass! I meant it as a genuine compliment!’   
He merely shrugged.  
'If you say so. Maybe it's just your natural tone, you know. It’s a little condescending.’  
For the first time in her life, Clarke was lost for words. She wanted to argue, but she was trapped. Whatever she said now really would sound completely condescending, thus furthering his point, but not retaliating was killing her. Right now he thought he had won, and she could not allow that. As she opened her mouth, hoping the words would just come to her, they were interrupted again by her mother. It was time to actually get to work. 'Saved again princess. To be continued?’ He walked past her, and as he did, he gave her a little wink. She stopped herself from following after him, out of fear she might lose her last shred of restraint. She took another breath and waited for everyone else to get settled before finding a seat as far from him as possible.  
'Ok. Welcome Everyone! I’m Abby Kane, I’m one of the producers, and congratulations to you all. We’re really excited about this project. Why don't we go around the room and have everybody introduce themselves.’ Abby gestured to the man to her left.  
'Im Thelonious Jaha, and I’m the showrunner. Some of you may recognise me from the auditions, although I couldn't make them all.’  
As he spoke, Clarke couldn't help but think he sounded a lot like a politician. When he was finally finished talking, about his ‘vision’ for the series, he went on to introduce the writer's himself. Then it was Clarke's turn.  
'Hi, I’m Clarke and I'm playing Nicki.’ She spoke quickly, not wanting to draw too much attention and avoiding Beanie jerks gaze. The guy next to her was not so shy, standing up and sharing sentiments of how much he looked forward to working with everyone. Clarke kicked herself for not doing something similar and hoped she hadn't come across as rude. The guys name was Finn, and he’d be the one playing Seth. He was very cute, all floppy brown hair, definitely your typical teen heart throb type.   
Eventually she discovered that Beanie jerks actual name was Bellamy. 

The table read was going well, but it was taking longer than Clarke had expected, as the writers changed and tweaked things as they went. After a few hours, they broke for lunch. Food had been provided, but Clarke headed straight for the coffee. As she took her first life giving sip and felt herself relax, Finn joined her, followed by Harper, the girl playing her sister, and Bellamy. Finn monopolised most of the conversation. He was admittedly, extremely charming and very at ease with himself. He talked about the other role he had turned down for this one, as he felt this character had more depth and range to explore as an artist. Clarke agreed with him, essentially, as she had felt the same way, but he was definitely being pretentious about it.  
'Don't you agree Bellamy?’ Finn asked, 'That the script offers a much wider scope as an actor.’ Bellamy raised his eyebrows at him.  
'Sure, but honestly, I’m just happy it's a regular role, and the pays pretty good.’  
Clarke couldn't help but let out a small laugh. As much as she desperately wanted to be a serious actor, at this point in her career she’d probably be happy with any role, and understood what he meant. 'I guess it's easier for some of us than others, especially when you've already got one foot in the door.’  
Clarke’s face dropped and her heart pounded. She had clung on to the hope that he’d keep it to himself about her mom, but nothing she’d known of him so far gave her any reason to doubt he'd expose her. Fortunately, Finn thought this comment was directed at him, so he answered.  
'Having connections isn't a bad thing. If you stop being so brooding and actually talked to people you might find you’ll get somewhere.’ Bellamy ignored him and looked straight at Clarke.  
'You hear that princess? I’m brooding. Don’t women find that, sexy and mysterious?’  
She couldn't figure out what he was trying to do. Was he just teasing? Or trying to get her to bite?  
'Who needs sexy and mysterious?’ She replied, ‘How about just being a nice guy?’  
Bellamy leaned in closer to her, completely ignoring the fact that Finn and Harper were still there.  
'Because most 'nice guys’ aren't 'nice guys’. It’s an act. At least with me, you get what you see.’  
'So, an arrogant, know-it-all, then?’ She folded her arms and tilted her head.  
'Exactly.’ Then he gave her one last smirk before walking away.  
Clarke wasn't sure what to make of him. On the one hand, he had accused her of being handed the part, when she had earned it just like everyone else, and he had called her condescending. On the other, he hadn’t yet told anyone who her mother was. Maybe he was holding the information for ransom, until it became useful. The day continued and the energy and enthusiasm was high, as it dawned on many of them that this could really be their big break.

When she arrived home, Clarke bounded through the door.  
'I have exciting news for you! Well, I think it's exciting, I hope you think so. I'm sure you will...Anyway, the show has told me I get to hire an assistant, paid for by the studio!’  
Raven nodded.  
‘That's great Clarke, really. But how does this affect me?’  
'Because, I’m hiring you! If you want? I mean, I know it's not your dream job, but, honestly, I don't really need an assistant, so really, you’d be getting paid to come hang out with me!’  
Raven understood Clarke's idea, it was sweet even, but she had reservations.  
'Wouldn’t that be awkward, though, me working for you?’  
But Clarke wouldn't hear of it, she was determined.  
'Absolutely not. I promise, I wouldn't order you around or, tell you to get me fresh squeezed juice with no pulp, or anything demeaning. Please, Raven, I really need you with me! Please?!’ Clarke attempted to give Raven her puppy dog eyes, but she really missed the mark and it just made Raven laugh.  
'Ok! That sounds great, yes! But just until I find an actual job ok?’   
Clarke hugged her tightly. It would be such a relief to have Raven by her side. Clarke liked to think of herself as a strong, independent woman, but sometimes, she just needed her Raven.


	4. Chapter 4

Filming had been incredible. After only a few days, Bellamy realised had never felt so at home before, not at school or anywhere else he had worked. He had never considered acting before this audition, but a casting director had given him a card while he was working at the bookstore, and things had moved so quickly from there. He was getting along with the crew especially well. The two interns, Jasper and Monty were a lot of fun, and he had been hanging out a lot with one of the stunt coordinators, Nathan Miller. He had gelled well with most of the cast too, all except for Finn. There was just something he didn't trust about that guy.  
Then there was the princess. At first, he thought she’d be this entitled show biz brat, growing up with a mom in the business. But she had chosen to keep her parentage a secret, so clearly she wasn't using it to get ahead. Then, she'd turned up with an assistant in tow, and he reconsidered again. They hadn't even shot the pilot yet and she'd already hired an assistant? Who did she think she was? Bellamy couldn't figure her out, and he also couldn't quite understand why he was spending so much time trying to.

Clarke savoured every moment of being on set. She loved performing, and she loved watching the others work too, and learning about the whole process of making a television show. So far, most of her scenes had been with Finn. She liked him, though he was a little heavy on the flirting, but she couldn't pretend she didn't like the attention, and she appreciated how dedicated he seemed to the show. He always wanted to rehearse and talk about their characters motivations, and Clarke began to feel like a real actor.   
During one rehearsal, Finn explained that he was worried that not everyone was giving the show their full focus. According to him, Bellamy had been late to set one day, and was always rushing off. It definitely peaked Clarke's curiousity, and she just hoped that Bellamy would understand how important it was to all of them to make the show a success.

One morning, Clarke noticed that Bellamy was supposed to be filming a pivotal scene, in which his character's mother dies. After everything Finn had told her about Bellamy's attitude, she couldn't resist sneaking over to the set to watch him, to see if he really was taking the role seriously.  
From the second the scene began, she was mesmerised. He was nothing short of incredible. His intensity and emotion brought Clarke to tears. When they were finished, she instinctively followed him out as he made his way back to his trailer. She wanted to tell him how great she'd thought he was, when she noticed, he seemed visibly shaken, so she left him alone. He was definitely taking this seriously. But the next time she saw him, she felt she had to say something.  
'I, just wanted to tell you, I watched your scene the other day. With your mom..’ But before she could finish the thought, he interrupted her, and he was angry.  
'You shouldn't have been there, that was supposed to be a closed set. But then, I guess nothings closed off to you, hey princess?’  
Clarke couldn't understand his hostility. Ok, she shouldn't have snuck in, but it was going to be on the show. Thousands, potentially millions of people would watch the scene eventually.  
'I was just trying to pay you a compliment! I was going to say I thought you were amazing.’  
The flash of vulnerability he had shown before quickly disappeared and his tone became cocky,  
'You're surprised?’ He folded his arms and stood tall, knowing full well that it showed off his strong biceps, and projected an arrogant exterior. But Clarke knew now that this was a front, she had glimpsed something that lay deeper. She shook her head, slightly dismayed.  
'You know, just for a second I thought you could be sincere? I guess I was wrong.’  
Bellamy took a moment. He was still annoyed that she had watched him. He felt as if she’d had a window into something very private. But, he also knew that there was no way for her to have known that, so he eased up a little and let his guard down slightly.  
'Thankyou. It was... intense.’ Clarke took the opening of vague politeness to try and talk with him.  
'Have you been acting for long?’  
'Nope. Guess I must be a natural.’ Clarke rolled her eyes.  
'I might have to, begrudgingly agree with you.’  
'There's a first time for everything.’ He smiled at her. A real smile this time, not just his usual teasing smirk. It made his eyes light up. 'How about you Princess? Anything I'd recognise you from?’  
'Oh, sure, are you an NCIS fan?’ She asked, to which he shrugged,  
'Is anyone?’ It made Clarke laugh.  
'Fair point. Anyway, I played the iconic role of ‘busty blonde bartender’. It was quite the performance, very memorable.’ She joked about it now, but in reality, she’d hated every second of accepting a part with such a misogynistic description. ‘At least I have this chance now to show what I can do, to show that I’m more than that.’  
Bellamy nodded, and then surprised her with his response,  
'Yeah, I think I'm beginning to see that.’  
The moment was short and sweet before Clarke was called away again.

 

They were two weeks into filming before it came out. Clarke noticed the change in people's behaviour first. The crew seemed less relaxed around her, and the gentle teasing and bonding that Clarke had been enjoying had been replaced with false politeness. This was exactly what she had been worried about. She had thought she and Bellamy had been getting along ok. They hadn't spoken that much, as they'd been so busy, but there had been no major incidents. She couldn't stop herself, she had to confront him. He was just leaving his trailor when she caught up with him.  
'Bellamy!’ He stopped walking and turned around.  
'Can this wait Princess? I'm in hurry, and honestly, by your tone, I'd say you're pissed off, and I really don't have time for that.’ Despite this, she continued.  
'How could you tell them? About my mom? I know you don't owe me any loyalty, I just, I thought you were better than that.’ Bellamy cocked his head.  
'What gave you that idea?’ He quipped, then turned again and began walking towards the parking lot. Clarke followed after him.  
'I don't know. Clearly I was wrong.’   
He stopped again, so abruptly that Clarke almost walked right in to him. He turned on the spot.  
'Do you know what Princess, believe what you like. You want to make me the bad guy, fine. I have more important things in my life besides hiding your secrets, so if you're done, I have somewhere to be.’ He seemed genuinely upset as he left, but Clarke was too angry to take much notice, so she stormed back to her trailer.

When she got there, she found Finn waiting with a bunch of flowers. He wanted to take her for dinner. Clarke’s first instinct was to say no. They were working together, it didn't seem professional. But Finn was a very persuasive guy, and she was still riled up from her argument with Bellamy, so she thought, fuck it! I deserve to have some fun, so why the hell not!  
The evening went fine. Finn was very attentive, he asked her lots of questions about her life and her family, and they had a good time. But she was still cautious about starting an on set relationship, so she asked if they could keep it quiet on set for now, and Finn agreed.


	5. Chapter 5

One day, the cast were all called to a meeting. As filming was moving at a good pace, the studio wanted to start creating some buzz about the upcoming series. They had scheduled some interviews for the website, and they asked the cast to become more vocal on social media.  
'I don’t really have any social media accounts. I'm really not about sharing my private life.’ Bellamy responded, but Jaha wasn't interested.  
'If you want the show to do well then you must do your part in the publicity. It's in your contract. Monty will get your accounts together and show you what to do.’ This was the first time they had seen this side of Jaha. Up until now he had been very supportive, insisting that this was a collaborative process, but when it came down to it, he was the boss. 'I expect to see some Instagram's by tonight. Take pictures of all of you together too. Hanging out, having fun. Fans love that.’  
Some of the cast were more excited about this than others, Harper especially so.  
'Why don't we all hang out tonight, get to know each other? We could go to that bar, Polis?’ Clarke was definitely up for that, she liked Harper, and if this series went well, they would all be spending a lot of time together. Finn agreed as did some of the others, and Harper extended the invite to crew as well, so Monty and Jasper were in. Only Bellamy was reluctant.  
'It sounds great Harper, I'll try and make it, if I can.’ He gave Harper a warm smile.  
'I know you're busy, but it would be nice to catch up properly some time, ok?’ He gave her a small salute before heading off with Monty. Harper's interaction with Bellamy had peeked Clarke’s curiosity.  
‘So, did you already know Bellamy then?’ Harper nodded.  
'Yeah, we went to highschool together. I was a couple of years below him, but all the girls liked him. Not that he took advantage, he was always pretty respectful.’ Clarke couldn't resist asking more questions, but Harper stopped her.  
'He’s kind of a private person Clarke. All I’ll say is that, he’s a good guy.’ Clarke was surprised. He hadn't exactly been a good guy towards her.  
'Yeah, well would a good guy go behind your back and tell the world your secret?’ Harper frowned at her, so Clarke explained about the audition and how Bellamy was the only one who knew about her mom.  
'Clarke, Bellamy didn't tell us! Your mom was bragging about you to half the crew, saying how well you were doing and how proud she was.’ Clarke felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. She had yelled at him, accused him. Why did she do that? She had to find him, she needed to apologise right away.

He hadn't been in his trailer, and when she checked again later she was told he’d left for the day. She hoped that he would show up at the bar so she could talk to him. Finn kept telling her not to worry, and that she shouldn't care, he wasn't a team player. But she did care. She begged Raven to come to the bar with her, but she already had plans.  
'You have other friends?’ Clarke pretended to be hurt. 'How dare you.’ Raven laughed.  
'Yes, CLARKE! My life does not revolve around you! I'm meeting up with Jackson and Maya, the people I worked with at the lab.’  
'Well, why don't you all come by later, if you feel like it?’ Raven raised her eyebrows.  
'You really can't get enough of me, can you? Fine, I’ll see, but no promises.’ 

Clarke tried to have fun and relax at the bar, but she couldn't stop watching the door for Bellamy. She couldn't stand what she had done. She had managed to convince Harper to give her Bellamy's number so she could text him a long apology, and in the text she had asked him to come by so she could buy him a drink, but he hadn't replied. Finn was adamant that she should let it go, that he wasn't worth worrying about, but she couldn't. As the evening drew on, it seemed like he wasn't going to show. Harper had begun taking pics for her Instagram as instructed.  
'Clarke, come on, they said everyone has to do it. Could you at least try to look happy. Here, have a drink, and smile.’ Clarke took the offered drink and gathered with the others for some pictures, smiling and laughing for the camera, just as Bellamy arrived. He saw them, but didn’t join them, instead he walked straight to the bar. She instantly left the group and made her way over to him.  
'Bellamy. I’m so glad you came. Did you get my text? I really wanted to say sorry in person too.’ He wouldn't look at her.  
'Yeah, you looked real cut up about it princess. What with the drinks and the selfies.’  
'Of course I am. That's for work, you know that.’  
'Sure. Look don't worry yourself about it. Not like I was too concerned with what you thought of me, but your text seemed sincere, so I dragged myself over here. Maybe i shouldn't have bothered.’ Clarke wanted to apologise, but he was making it impossible.  
'God! You are infuriating you know that. I am genuinely sorry, I can't say anymore than that!’ She was so frustrated at this point she was yelling. He turned to face her.  
'So that's it?! I need a little more than a sorry text and now you're pissed at me?! I didn't have to come you know!’  
'I know that! I made a mistake, I'm trying to apologise but you won't listen. And now I'm yelling!’  
'You can't get your own way all the time princess, I'm not your assistant. You can't tell me what to do or order me to accept your apology.’  
'What are you talking about?! What has my assistant got to do with this!?’  
At this point, they were both shouting so loudly at each other that the whole bar had become quiet, watching their fight with fascination. After a little while, they finally noticed the stares and they both fell silent. The crowd applauded them, so Bellamy waved and thanked them and Clarke made a cute little curtsey. She and Bellamy looked back each other, and suddenly burst out laughing. When their hysterics finally died down, Clarke was the first to speak.  
'I’m sorry. I really have been waiting for you, Harper insisted on the pictures. As for my assistant. Ravens my friend, and my roommate, and she needed a job, that's it. I would never order her around. That's not who I am.’ Bellamy thought for a moment.  
'I guess I owe you an apology too. How about we both stop judging the other, and just have a damn drink?’  
As the night drew on, Clarke found herself actually enjoying Bellamy's company. He was a really interesting guy, great to talk to, and it turned out they had a lot of similar interests. Clarke found herself opening up to him about how scared she was about her ability as an actress, especially seeing how natural he’d been, and he was surprisingly humble in receiving the praise this time. She told him how she wished she knew more about the dystopian future genre, to help inform her character, but she’d never really had much interest in it before. Bellamy was incredibly helpful with this, suggesting books she could read that might be useful. His knowledge of literature and his tastes were surprising and varied, and he was clearly very smart. As they talked, the time flew by. 

All the while Bellamy and Clarke spoke, Finn kept an eye on them. They had spent most of the evening in deep conversation with only each other, and he wasn't happy about it. The next time they laughed together, he strode over and interrupted them.  
'Clarke, it's getting late, I should take you home.’ Clarke frowned at him. She knew exactly what he was doing.  
'Actually, Raven’s on her way over now so I'll just wait for her.’ Finn sat down next to her and placed his arm around her shoulders.  
'That's great, well i’ll wait with you until she gets here. I want to make sure you get home safe.’ Clarke shuffled her shoulders away from his arm.  
'I can take care of myself.’ As she spoke with Finn, Bellamy got up and put his jacket on. She turned to him, ‘Wait, are you leaving?’  
'Think I’ve had all the socialising I can stomach. Goodnight Clarke.’ Then he turned and walked out of the bar. Clarke ignored Finn's protests to stay and followed him out, calling after him as he quickly weaved his way through the crowd. He stopped just outside the bar to hail a cab.  
‘Wow you're fast.' She was ashamed that she was slightly breathless, ‘Why are you going? I thought we were having a nice time?’  
'Yeah, we were. I just…’ He sighed, and ran his hands through his hair. ‘Don’t let him do that, ok.’  
'What? He’s just..’  
‘God, Clarke, he might as well have pissed on you! Really marked his territory.’  
'Excuse me?’ Clarke felt so insulted. ‘You have no right to…He's not doing that.’ She struggled to form the words, so Bellamy jumped in again.  
'I just, thought you were smarter than that.’ At first, she was a little mad that he could think she'd ever let a guy treat her like a possession, but at least his intentions had been honourable. But now he was questioning her intelligence?!  
'How dare you! I can make my own decision about who I date. Maybe sometimes I’m wrong, but they're my choices, my mistakes to make.’ He looked as though he had more to say on the subject, but he relented and shook his head.  
'You're right. It's none of my business. Enjoy the rest of your night.’ As he finished talking, a cab pulled up and he climbed in, not even turning to say goodbye. The cab drove away, leaving Clarke to digest what had happened. Why did he have to do that? They had been having so much fun. Yes, Finn had acted like a jealous idiot, but everyone gets jealous now and then, it doesn't make you a bad person.  
Soon after, Raven arrived with Jackson and Maya in tow. Clarke stuck by Raven's side for the rest of the evening. She couldn't deal with Finn or anyone else right now. She and Raven sat at the bar downing shots and observing the happy people. Jackson immediately hit it off with one of the stunt coordinators, Nathan Miller. They drank and they danced together, despite there being no dance floor. Maya was fairly shy, but she had caught Jasper's eye. Clarke and Raven quietly giggled together about how damn cute they were, as they watched Jasper attempt to flirt with her, until eventually, at around 3am the bar staff kicked them all out as they were closing. 

Clarke and Raven spent the following day nursing their hangovers by doing nothing but lying on the sofa eating take out food and binge watching Veronica Mars. They flipped through the Instagram photos Harper had posted, slightly scared of what they would find, but she had been pretty kind and only posted the nicer ones. There was just one that Clarke didn't quite appreciate, that she didn't even know had been taken. It was a shot of her and Bellamy from when he had first arrived at the bar and they had been yelling at each other, and Harper had added the hashtags #fighting again #must be a day ending in y.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day, it was back to reality, and Clarke was dreading it. She was filming a scene where Nicki and Mason have a huge fight, and it felt too much like art imitating life. She wished she and Bellamy could have rehearsed a little, but he hadn't been on set all morning, she only saw him once they were ready to shoot.   
He didn't say a word to her. They stood on their marks in complete silence, waiting for their cues.  
As the scene began and Clarke became caught up in the moment, she realised just how frustrated she still was with him, and it showed in her performance, but Bellamy gave as good as he got.  
'You are not in charge here, Nicki!’ He yelled.  
'I’m just trying to keep everyone safe, give your ego a rest!’ She spat back, jabbing him in the chest with her finger. Bellamy stepped even closer to her, their faces mere inches apart.  
'My ego's not the problem! I'm not Seth, you can't walk all over me!’  
Things became more heated as they continued the scene, both of them becoming so absorbed in it, they barely noticed when the director called cut. Bellamy and Clarke just stared at each other, finally breaking eye contact as the director approached them.  
'Wow. Both of you, that was...intense!’ He spoke excitedly, 'I really hadn't pictured it like that. I just thought it was a throw away argument, but the way you played the sexual tension!’ Bellamy and Clarke simultaneously looked at him with shock and disagreed.  
'I don't, that's not exactly..’  
'I wasn't really going for…’ But he dismissed them both.  
'No, no, it's great. It's not something we’d considered, but it could definitely add an interesting dynamic. Let's shoot the next POV, but I want it exactly like that again.’  
Clarke could feel her cheeks burn, hating that she blushed so easily. Bellamy just stared at his feet between takes. As soon as the scene was over they left in opposite directions, and Clarke collapsed into her trailer, feeling exhausted and very confused. 

Several days went by with Clarke and Bellamy avoiding each other, neither willing to make the first move. Clarke wasn't sure why they were even fighting anymore.  
As she curled up on the sofa in her trailer and tried to close her eyes for a little while, she was joined by a flustered looking Raven.  
'Raven? What is it?’ Raven stood open mouthed for a while, but no words came out. 'Raven, you're worrying me, sit.’ But Raven remained standing, until she was finally able to speak.  
'I have to tell you something, but I'm not sure how. Please promise me you won't hate me for telling you.’ Clarke stood up and took both of Ravens hands in hers.  
'There is nothing that could ever make me hate you. Please come and sit.’ Raven did as she was told, sitting with Clarke and letting it all out. It was a rambling mess at first and she kept apologising, but she eventually spat it out. Finn had hit on her. Clarke’s first reaction was to hug Raven. No matter how upset she was at Finn, she knew it was not Ravens fault, and needed to make sure Raven knew that she didn't blame her. After taking some time to digest the information, she realised, as mad as she was at Finn, she was more angry with herself. Once again she had fallen for the wrong person. Raven consoled her, but she was being so nice it began to make Clarke feel uncomfortable. She assured Raven she was fine and that she loved her, but she just wanted to be alone.  
'Ok, but when you're ready there will be a mountain of vodka and chocolate waiting for you at home. I love you.’ She smiled.  
'You too.’  
After Raven left, Clarke paced back and forth, unable to settle. She wasn't sure what to do with herself. She wanted to shout or throw something. Her phone kept ringing, flashing up with Finn's number. He must have realised that Raven would have told her? She couldn't stomach hearing his voice, so in the end she sent him a text, but she kept it really short. There was so much that she wanted to say, but annoyingly, they still had to work together, so she forced herself to keep it civil. All she wrote was; Raven told me, we’re over - Give me space.  
She just hoped he would respect that. She tried to busy herself and began thumbing through her script, realising that she had a couple more scenes with Bellamy the next day. Before she realised what she was doing, she was knocking on his trailer door.

As Bellamy opened the door, he was genuinely surprised to see Clarke standing before him. She spoke quickly before he had a chance to say anything.  
'I was wondering if you'd run some lines with me?’ He tilted his head, intrigued.  
'Why are you asking me?’ She looked up at him, her clear blue eyes slightly glassy. He thought maybe she had been crying.  
'Because right now I don't feel like being around anyone i actually like.’   
He wasn’t sure if he should be insulted, but his curiosity won out. He stepped back and gestured for her to come in. For a while, they actually did run lines. Bellamy knew something was bothering her, but he thought for now it was best not to ask. That is, until she suddenly burst out with,  
'You were right.’ He look puzzled, so she continued. 'About Finn. He hit on Raven, so that's done.’ He wasn't shocked.  
'I’m sorry. I didn't want to be.’ Clarke raised her eyebrows at him, unconvinced. 'Fine, of course I did. But I am sorry you got hurt.’  
'It’s fine…’ She tried, but he interrupted again.  
'No, Clarke it's not. He's an idiot. You deserve better than that. For what's it's worth, I should never have said that I thought you were smarter than that - not that you're not smart.’ He quickly corrected, 'I just meant, I thought you’d see through his act.’ Clarke sighed.  
'Yeah, you’d think. No, when it comes to relationships I seem to have a blind spot. I appreciate the apology though. I don't know what I was thinking, starting something with him. I should be focused on the show.’   
Bellamy got up, headed to his fridge and took out 2 beers, passing one to Clarke.  
'You keep these here?’ She asked.  
'Yes Clarke. I'm a rebel. Just be grateful, you look like you need one.' She nodded and thanked him. He watched her, unsure of what to say, but he wanted to make her feel better somehow. ‘It's ok to want more, Clarke. A great job and a great relationship. You just need to make better choices.’   
She chuckled as he attempted to give her relationship advice. Then they kept talking, about all sorts of things. They talked about disastrous relationships they'd both had. Bellamy even told her about the worst date he’d ever been on, where she had texted her friend all night, gotten blind drunk and then thrown up on him. They laughed together and Clarke completely relaxed.  
'So, Bellamy, as you're clearly an expert, give me some more of your wisdom. What do I look out for in a partner?’ Her tone was light and joking. Bellamy pretended to think seriously for a moment.  
'Well, I’d say, get to know them first. It's seems obvious, I know, but think about it. When Finn asked you out, he barely knew you. It was based on a purely physical attraction. Not that I blame him.’ Bellamy realised what he said and stopped for a second, and Clarke felt her breath hitch in her throat. Bellamy stammered a little, 'But, uh, you, you should wait until they know who you are. Then you know for sure that they want to take you out because they see how fun and smart and interesting you are. Not just because they want to sleep with you.’   
Clarke smiled and felt her cheeks glow, she was so terrible at taking compliments.  
'That must have been difficult for you. Having to say all those nice things to me because I'm vulnerable.’ She teased, but he appreciated her breaking the awkwardness.  
'So difficult.’ They met each others eyes and shared a smile before Bellamy continued. 'We all make crappy choices when it comes to love. Even me. I shouldn't have judged you.’  
'Thanks. I know we’ve said it before, but maybe we could cut each other some slack?’  
They hung out in his trailer for the rest of the night, just talking and laughing, it felt so natural and comfortable. He even listened attentively as she talked about artists she loved and showed him images on her phone of her favourite paintings. He agreed with her about some of them, others less so, but all the same he took the time to consider her opinion and they simply agreed to disagree.  
Later, when Bellamy went to the bathroom, his phone buzzed with a text message. Clarke knew that she shouldn't look, but there was no part of her that could resist. It was from someone simply dubbed O, and all it said was; I’m ready x. Was Bellamy seeing someone? He hadn't mentioned it, and the 'I’m ready x’? Clarke was completely jumping to conclusions, but she couldn't help thinking it sounded suggestive. Almost like a booty call. When Bellamy returned, he saw the message, and his demeanor changed instantly.  
'Clarke, I’m sorry, I have to go. Do you need a ride home? I only had one beer.’ Clarke was a little stunned. They had been having a lot of fun. She wasn't sure why, but she thought he would ignore the message.  
'No, that's ok, I have my car, I've only had one too.’ Bellamy seemed to feel bad, but he still grabbed his jacket.  
'You sure you’ll be ok?’ She just nodded and gathered her things as he now seemed to be in a rush. 'Ok, at least let me walk to your car, it's dark out.’ They walked together in silence, as Bellamy seemed distracted. The whole evening, they had been so comfortable with each other, but now Clarke felt weird. He said a quick goodnight to her before heading to his own car, and out of sight.


	7. Chapter 7

Clarke tried to let it go. She wasn't sure why it was bothering her so much, but she still felt a little annoyed that he had ditched her so fast after getting that message. It bugged her so much, in fact, that she was quiet with him the next day, and he noticed.  
'Clarke, what's up? Is it Finn, have you seen him?’ Clarke had been so distracted that she had almost completely forgotten about Finn.  
'No. No, haven't seen him.’ Bellamy scowled. Clearly Clarke was pissed about something. He could not figure her out.  
'Did you get home ok last night?’ He ventured, trying to unpick what was going on with her.  
'Yeah, I got myself home just fine.’ Bellamy was not an idiot. He knew a passive aggressive reply when he heard one.  
'Ok, have I done something? I thought we were good now?’ Clarke was kicking herself internally. Why couldn't she just let it go.  
'No. Not really. I just thought we were getting along too, and you said you'd read lines with me and then you ditch me for a booty call.’ She rambled, leaving Bellamy slightly stunned. He wasn't even sure where to begin.  
'Ok, first thing, why would you think I ditched you for a booty call?’ And then he realised, ‘Did you read my text? That is a complete violation of my privacy Clarke.’   
Clarke opened her mouth to protest, but nothing came out. She hadn't even thought of it like that. Bellamy carried on, 'Secondly, why are you pissed at me? So what if I did?’   
Clarke racked her brain for an answer, but everything she thought of sounded ridiculous.  
'I don't know. You said we could rehearse, then you bolted.’  
'Clarke, we weren't rehearsing and you know it. So why are you upset?’ He pressed her further, but she stayed quiet now, completely mortified. He shook his head. 'Not that I owe you an explanation, Clarke, but that text, it wasn't a booty call. God, I can't believe I'm even using that term!’ He rubbed his face in frustration, 'It was my sister. She was telling me she was ready for me to pick her up.’   
Clarke knew she should just apologise, that she had completely misunderstood, but she was feeling vulnerable and defensive, so she lashed out.  
'You never mentioned a sister. We talked all-night, you never said a word!’  
'I told you, I’m a private person.’  
'I opened up to you, I told you about my family…’ she began shouting, but he cut her off.  
'Who asked you to!?’ There was a sudden silence, his words biting. Clarke couldn't hide the hurt from her face, and Bellamy was just as shocked. He hadn't meant to be cruel.  
'Clarke, I didn't mean that. I’m…’ But before he could finish, she ran out of the room. Bellamy stood completely still, unable to make himself move.  
Miller had witnessed the whole thing, so he approached Bellamy, patting his shoulder.  
'Come on, let's do a little combat training, it’ll help.’

As they sparred, Bellamy let out his frustration.  
'Bellamy, it's fake fighting remember! Take it easy.’ Miler warned. Bellamy had been putting so much energy into practicing the moves he was visibly sweating. 'You know,’ Miller ventured, ‘normal people talk about their emotions and shit. It's meant to help.’   
Bellamy was unconvinced at first, but as his frustration built again, he found himself ranting about everything that had happened with Clarke. It was completely out of character for him, but he really needed to get it off his chest. I mean, she had invaded his privacy, so why was she so mad? She had come to his trailer uninvited, why was it his problem? And yet, why the hell did he feel so guilty?  
'Ok, you're not that blind. I know you don't socialise all that much, but seems to me the girl likes you. God help her, 'cause you're an asshole.’   
Bellamy shook his head as they continued to spar.  
'No way, Nate. She hates me.’  
'Fine, you want to ignore it, that's up to you, but you should go apologise.’ He threw a punch, and Bellamy easily dodged it, ‘Yeah she's messed up a couple times, but you're not an easy person to get along with, and it seems like she's trying.' His feet moved quickly across the mat as they squared up to each other, ‘Plus, you like her right?’   
With Bellamy distracted, Miller grabbed him and swiftly threw him to the ground. As Bellamy lay breathless on the mat, he thought back to the first time he had seen her. He had honestly been trying to push his feelings to the back of his mind, because before he had acted like a jerk to her that day, he remembered watching her walk into the room, and thinking how beautiful she was. Then he had gotten to know her a little, and found that he liked how stubborn and passionate she was. She could talk about a painting as if just glimpsing it could change your whole life. She loved her friends and family fiercely, and he could definitely relate to that. He knew he liked her, but he had other responsibilities right now. He did want to make things right with her though. He got up, thanked Miller for the advice and headed out.

Once again, Raven was stuck listening to Clarke rant about Bellamy. She wanted to be a good friend, but this time it seemed like Clarke was being deliberately dense.  
'Ok, so it was wrong to read his phone, but…’ This was the final straw.  
'Oh my god, Clarke! Can you hear yourself! You know exactly why you read his phone, and you know exactly why it pissed you off when you thought he was seeing someone.’ She stood up abruptly and headed for the door, turning to smile at Clarke before she left, 'Until you're ready to admit it to yourself, I can't help you. I’ll see you later.’ With that, she left the trailer, and as she did she saw a very nervous looking Bellamy making his way over. 

Bellamy stood at her trailer door, trying to build up the courage to knock, when suddenly, the door opened. Clarke jumped back.  
'God, Bellamy! You scared the life out of me. What are you doing?’  
'Can I come in?’ He asked, but pushed past her before being given an answer.  
'Sure, come in.’ She said sarcastically.  
Bellamy settled himself down on the couch, fiddling with the beanie he held in his hands.  
'Just, hear me out, ok?’ Clarke still hovered in the doorway, unsure whether to listen or make a run for it, but she relented, closing the door and perching herself on a stool in the kitchenette, far enough away that she could still leave if she wanted too. Bellamy noticed this. 'I don't bite Clarke.’  
'You sure about that?’ She retorted, bitterly.  
'Fair enough, I deserved that. I’m sorry. I know I keep saying it, but I am. I don't know why I’m like that.’  
'Because you're a grumpy asshole?’ She was still upset, but she could see he was trying. 'I should never have come over uninvited. Trust me, It won't happen again.’  
'Don't say that. I like spending time with you, and I'm really glad you felt like you could talk to me.’ He paused for a second, unsure how to say the next part without making her mad. 'You just, you can't expect me to be the same as you.’  
'I don't, I just thought you'd mention a sister! That's not exactly a secret is it?’  
'No, not exactly. It’s gonna sound ridiculous, but I just don't want her around this, and I worry…’ He trailed off. The next part was almost impossible for him to talk about. His throat felt sore already. Clarke studied his face, and she could see that he was fighting back tears. She moved to sit with him on the couch.  
'Its ok. You don't have to tell me. You're right, I can be a pretty open person with people I trust, that's just me, I shouldn't expect you to be the same. And I am sorry for looking at your phone.’ She tentatively reached her hand out and placed it on his, as he stared at the floor. 'For what it's worth, you can talk to me, whenever you're ready.’   
Bellamy looked up at her, absorbing her words.  
'You trust me?’ Clarke hadn't even realised what she’d said, but she took a second to think about it.  
'Yeah, I guess I do? Is that weird?’ Bellamy smiled broadly. He had never met anyone like her, so willing to take a chance on him, to trust him so easily despite his guarded outward appearance.  
'It’s very weird, and honestly, I’m probably not worth it.’ Clarke was about to disagree with him, but he continued before she had a chance. 'But I’ll try to be, from now on.’   
They shared a moment of forgiveness and clarity, and it would be a moment that would cement their friendship through the coming months.


	8. Chapter 8

4 Months Later

That night, everyone was gathering at Abby's house for the premiere episode of 'Survive the Night.’ They hadn't even finished filming the last 2 episodes yet, but they were already starting to air the series, and it was absolutely terrifying.  
Abby's house was enormous. She had done very well for herself over the years, so she was happy to host everyone. It did feel a little odd for Clarke though. They had moved here when Clarke was 8, this was her childhood home, full of memories, it felt funny that so many of her cast mates would be here. Her bedroom was still set out upstairs just as she’d left it when she’d moved away to college.  
When Abby had first let slip to the cast and crew that she was Clarke's mother, the people on set had been much more guarded around her. Fortunately, it hadn't taken long for them all to realise that Clarke would not accept any special treatment from her, so they mostly relaxed again. They also liked and respected Abby a great deal, which had made things easier, and was why she was such a good producer. 

Clarke had arrived early to help her mom set up, and also to have a chance to hide any embarrassing baby pictures, which she knew Bellamy would seek out immediately just to tease her about. He said that he’d come by a little early too, to offer his ‘services’, but she knew full well it was just so he could scope out the place for anything incriminating.  
Right on cue the doorbell rang, and there he stood, a warm July evening, beanie hat still firmly on his head, familiar smirk on his face.  
'Stop it.' She scolded, jokingly ‘You won't find any.’  
'I don't know what you're implying, I am here to help, nothing more.’ She merely raised her eyebrows at him, 'Oh, come on princess, indulge me.’ He walked past her, through the entrance hall and into the huge kitchen diner, taking it all in. 'Give me the tour of your castle.’  
'Is that a euphemism?’ She teased, receiving a very suggestive look in response, ‘Besides, you've seen my castle, it's that crap box apartment I share with Raven.’  
'Yeah, please explain to me why you ever left this place? It's incredible.’ He continued looking around as she got back to work and set out glasses on the counter.  
'Because living with my mother and her new husband during their ‘honeymoon faze’ was not worth it just for an ensuite bathroom.’  
'You have an ensuite bathroom?!’  
'Shut-up!’ She grabbed the dishcloth from the drainer and threw it at him. ‘You're supposed to be helping set up, stop distracting me! Here, take these into the living room.’ She passed him a tray of food.  
'Fine, but later you have to show me your bedroom. I want to see what posters you had.’  
'Why would you think I had posters?’  
'Everybody had posters. Embarrassing ones, and I need to see them! Come on, we’ve shared all the mushy stuff, you know, about our families and childhood's, now it's time to share the important things! Like which boyband member you were in love with!’ She held back a laugh.  
'Actually, I was more into girl bands.’  
'Embarrassing girl bands though, right?’ 

It wasn't long before the rest of the cast and crew arrived, minus Finn of course, and 9.00 came around. They watched until the first commercial in almost complete silence. As playful as Bellamy's demeanor had seemed earlier in the evening, Clarke knew he was more nervous than any of them. He needed the show to be well received, as the steady income meant he could support Octavia financially through college.  
Clarke knew now all about why Bellamy had been so closed off when they had first met. He had been Octavia's sole guardian since she was just 14, and their mother had passed away from a long illness. It was why he had been so shaken filming the scene where his character's mom died, it was like reliving his worst nightmare. He always wanted to protect Octavia and shield her from harm, and he worried about her getting caught up in the idea of the celebrity lifestyle, so he had tried to keep her separate from it at first. It hadn't worked at all of course, she had demanded to come to the set and meet his new friends and she soon became a regular visitor. 

As soon as the episode finished, Harper immediately took to Twitter to see the reviews, but Bellamy couldn't bare to listen, so he stepped outside to get some air. Soon after, Clarke joined him.  
Clarkes friendship meant a lot to Bellamy, more than she could possibly know, she had been a great support to him. He knew that he loved her, completely, every part of her, but he didn't act on his feelings. A few months back, he had considered it, but then something he’d overheard had changed his mind.  
It had happened a few weeks after he had apologised to Clarke, and things between them had been amazing. They’d started hanging out all the time, and even when they all went out as a group the two of them would inevitably end up huddled together somewhere. He valued the friendship that they had been building so much, but he couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss her. Everytime she looked up at him with those crystal eyes, it made him want her more. One evening, after spending an hour on the phone with her despite the fact they had spent most of the day together, he decided to bite the bullet, and made his way over to her apartment to tell her how he felt. But when he had gotten there, Clarke and Raven were just heading out, and Clarke was stood by the front door, fumbling in her bag for her keys to lock up. He was about to approach them, when he overheard Raven say his name. He wasn't sure why, but in that moment, he had hidden from their view and listened in.  
'Come on. You and Bellamy spend every spare second together. You must like him, so just go for it!’  
'I’m sure he doesn't think of me like that. Besides, I can't be that girl that dates all her co stars, what would everyone say?’  
'Who cares what anyone else thinks? If you like him, go for it!’   
Clarke sighed.  
'I care about him so much, Ray, but we’re friends. I really don't want to lose that. It took us so long to get there. Right now, I just want to focus on my career.’  
At this point, Bellamy had walked away. He had heard enough to know that now wasn't the time. Her friendship was important to him as well, and if that was all she wanted, then he would respect that. If Bellamy had stuck around though, he might have heard what she said next;  
'But, of course I like him. Actually, I can't stop thinking about him.’

So now here they were, months later and his feelings had only deepened, but he never made a move. She stood beside him, looking out over the skyline and leaned into his side. He instinctively put his arm around her. It felt warm and safe to hold her, calming.  
'Bell, you have nothing to worry about. You were great.’ She reassured him. He smiled, amused.  
'Clarke, I only had 3 lines this episode.’  
'Yeah, but they were great lines.’ She enthused, smiling broadly. He gently dropped his arm from around her and turned to face her.  
'You were amazing.’ He took a deep breath, ‘I think the world's about to fall in love with you.’ She screwed up her face at the praise, but Bellamy continued sincerely, 'You were. No matter what happens with this show, I see big things for you, Clarke.’   
She tried to shrug it off, still unable to take a compliment, and looked down at the ground, hiding her face beneath her hair. Bellamy wanted so much for her to believe in herself. He reached out and gently tucked her hair behind her ear, unmasking her features. His hand came to settle on her shoulder, and in response she tilted her head and softly nuzzled into it, closing her eyes and relaxing at his touch. The intimacy of it took Bellamy by surprise.  
'Clarke…’ He began, placing his other hand to softly cup the side of her face. The way he said her name made her shiver, it was deep and gravelly, but also tender and loving. She slowly opened her eyes and brought them up to meet his.  
He knew he was supposed to be talking. He was meant to tell her how wonderful she was, how talented, how she deserved the world, but as he looked into her eyes he forgot how to speak. His heart beat hard in his chest. His thumb caressed her cheek and he could swear that, just for a second, she leaned in towards him.  
The moment was abruptly interrupted by the patio doors flying open, and Harper screaming, ‘They love it!!’ at the top of her lungs. Bellamy and Clarke flew apart as many of the others also joined them outside, filling the space between them and forcing them further away from each other. Glasses of champagne were passed around for a toast, as they celebrated their initial success. So far, the reviews looked promising, the show was set to be a hit.


	9. Chapter 9

Clarke hadn't had a chance to talk with Bellamy alone for the rest of that night, or for the following few days, which was strange for them, as they usually spoke everyday. She wasn't sure which one of them was avoiding the other, but all their separation did was make her paranoia worse.  
She had leaned in. Had he noticed? Was he trying to let her down gently? That night and in that moment, with him so close to her, touching her, she had wanted so badly to kiss him. Clearly he didn't feel the same way, and as much as that hurt, she desperately did not want things to be awkward between them. She needed him in her life. She wasn't filming today, but she knew that he had a big scene, so she promised herself she would go to the set and talk with him, and make sure he knew that she was ok with just being his friend.

Since the night of the premiere, Bellamy had thought about calling Clarke roughly every 5 minutes. For one, he missed talking to her. He had a huge scene for the 2 part finale, and talking with her centered him and gave him confidence. But he just wasn't sure if things were ok between them. He felt like, maybe, something had changed between them, that they were more than they once were, but he quickly convinced himself that he had imagined it. She didn't see him like that, they were just friends. He was terrified he had made things weird between them. He just had to get himself through the days filming, and then he would talk to her.

When Clarke arrived on set, she couldn't resist sneaking over to watch the scene, but as she turned the corner, she walked straight into her mother.  
'Mom! Sorry, I was… are you ok?’ Clarke could tell instantly that her mom was agitated, her eyes glassy and hands shaking.  
'Yes, fine. Actually I'm glad you're here. Can we talk in my office?’ Abby marched off quickly and in complete silence, as Clarke struggled to keep up with her. When they arrived, Abby shut the door behind them.  
'Mom, please tell me what's going on.’ Clarke took a seat, but her mom remained standing, unsettled, hands on her hips.  
'I just wanted to inform you that, from tomorrow, I will no longer be working here.’ Clarke was completely taken aback.  
'I don't understand. What’s happened?’ She asked, to which Abby replied in a significantly irritated tone.  
'Some of the producers feel that my relationship with you, being your mom, is creating a conflict of interest.’ Clarke frowned in response.  
'But, everyone seems fine with it, and you've haven't given me any special treatment. Have you?’  
'I didn't think I was. But, there have been some things that, perhaps, if you weren't my daughter, I may not have blocked so stubbornly.’  
'What things?’ Abby finally took a seat at her desk, folding her hands in front of her.  
'I strongly believe that the show has a broad appeal, and that it should be appropriate for a teen audience as well as adults. But, there are some that feel differently. They feel that the shows target audience is adults, and as such should feature more, adult situations.’ Clarke read between the lines.  
'Mom, are you trying to say they want sex scenes? Because, if it has to happen, that's part of it, I'm an actress…’  
'It's not having them, Clarke, it's how they're shot. The sex could be implied, sheets moving, lying in bed together, but they want all of it. They want nudity. I’m no prude, I just genuinely don't believe it's the right call for the show, but they think it's because I don't want my daughter naked on television.’ Clarke tried to absorb what Abby was saying. She wasn't sure how she felt about being naked on screen either. 'Clarke, promise me you won't let anyone make you do anything that you're not comfortable with.’  
'It’s my job, mom, If they tell me I have to…’  
‘No.' Abby jumped in, ‘If you don't want to do it, then don't. And if you do, that's fine too. I'll support you either way.’ Clarke smiled. She was lucky to have a mom like Abby.  
'Thanks mom.’ She got up and went to hug her. ‘I can't believe they’re doing this to you. What will you do now?’  
'Dont worry about me, plenty of projects around. I just really liked this one.’ 

Abby packed up her desk and things and Clarke helped her to her car. She had such a mixture of feelings. She was so angry that they could just fire her mom like that, she couldn't stand seeing her mom upset. Also, the more it sank in, the more terrified she became of the idea that she might have to take her clothes off, whilst also feeling scared of what would happen if she refused. Could she really say no? If they fired her mom so easily, they could do the same to her. Was it really such a big deal? Or was she compromising herself? As her mom left, Clarke wandered through the parking lot, head swirling with too many questions, when suddenly, she was knocked to the ground. As she fell, a car flew past, narrowly missing her, and she landed hard on the concrete, with Bellamy landing on top of her.  
'Clarke! What the hell were you doing! You were just walking in the road, you could've been hit!’ He clambered off her while at the same time checking her over for injuries.  
'I’m sorry, I wasn't looking…’  
'Are you hurt?’ He carefully tried to help her up, but her ankle gave out. Bellamy shook his head. ‘You're really gonna make me do this, aren't you?’  
'Do wha...’ But before she could finish, he swooped her up into his arms. He made it look easy, like she weighed nothing. She let herself relax into him, feeling completely safe as he carried her into his trailer. As soon as they were in he set to work, propping her leg up with pillows and making her comfortable. Then he grabbed an ice pack that he kept in the fridge after sustaining more than few injuries during stunt work and placed it gently on her ankle. All the while Clarke watched him quietly, as he took care of her.  
'So, are you going to tell me what was bothering you so much you didn't notice the car?’   
Clarke shook her head, annoyed with herself.  
'God, it seems so stupid now. I really was just distracted. It's my mom, she got fired today.’ Bellamy was just as shocked as Clarke had been.  
'What the hell? Your mom's great, that's crazy!? Why?’ Clarke proceeded to explain everything.  
'So, how do you feel about it?’ He asked, after she had told him they may want nudity.  
'Honestly? I don't know. I'm an actress, right, it's what i should do, for my art. I guess I hadn't really thought about it before, actually showing my body, and I don't…’ She trailed off, feeling a little embarrassed, looking down at her hands.  
'Clarke?’ His voice grounded her, so she took a breath and continued. 'I don't look like the other girls here. They're so skinny and toned and i'm... bigger.’ It was difficult to lay out her insecurities, but she knew she could trust him. He replied without hesitation.  
'Clarke, speaking from a purely male perspective, I can tell you right now, you have nothing to worry about at all. You are incredibly sexy. And don't brush that off, I know you hate compliments, but you…’ He had to hold himself back a little, because he might just let slip just how beautiful she was to him, how much he wanted her. He cleared his throat. 'If that's your only concern, then it shouldn't be.’  
She wasn't sure how to respond, he was just being nice, reassuring her, she shouldn't read too much into it. But it wasn’t just the nudity.  
'Its not. I sort of agree with my mom. I know we’ve only shown one episode, but from what I've seen, there are young girls that are watching this show, watching these strong female characters, and feeling empowered. That's important. If the show targets a more adult audience, then we’re alienating those girls. I don't think that's right.’  
'So let's tell them that. You're not just a disposable actress anymore Clarke. The show is out there and people love you, you have more influence than you think. And I’m with you, all the way.’ They shared a smile. ‘One more thing though. Next time something's on your mind, just come and talk to me, ok. Don't get so buried in your thoughts you almost hurt yourself. I know it was an accident, but if something had happened to you, I don't know what I'd do.’ The look in his eyes was so sincere, and Clarke's heart ached.  
'I promise.’


	10. Chapter 10

It was another week before Clarke was formally approached by the producers about the scene, but luckily she was ready for them. Clarke and Bellamy, with help from Raven, Monty and Jasper, had been searching Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook for any kind of fan posts for the show, and it clearly showed they had a largely building teen fanbase, especially after the second episode had aired. With these numbers and the research to back it up from online polls set up by Monty, it would it be easier to present an argument to Jaha.  
But when the time came, he was not impressed.  
‘Let's get to the point, Miss.Griffin. Are you refusing to do this scene, because I will remind you that you have a contract.’   
She took a deep breath and stood her ground.  
'I’m aware. I'm not refusing. I’m asking that it be shot modestly, tastefully. We have a responsibility to our audience. As for my contract, I don't mean to cause trouble, but I'm a person, and I will not be forced into a situation that makes me uncomfortable.’ Her tone never wavered. She felt strong, powerful, she believed in what she was saying. Jahas face did not change.  
'Well, you've given us something to think about. That will be all for now.’ And he dismissed her. She wasn't sure what to make of his response. Did he mean he'd think about what she'd said, or think about a way to kill off her character in the next episode?

When Clarke got the new sides for the scene 2 days later, she breathed a huge sigh of relief. It was very modest. They would show the build up and the post coitus cuddle, but nothing in-between. She immediately found Bellamy and told him the good news, throwing her arms around him.  
Things between them the last few days had been amazing. She wasn't sure if it was her almost getting hurt, or the moment they had shared at Abby's, which neither had mentioned, but since then they had been even closer. They were much more tactile with each other too, and Clarke wasn't complaining. Each time that he hugged her, held her hand, stroked her arm, it felt like electricity running through her, and his support had given her so much strength.  
‘Thank You, Bell, i’m not sure i could have done it without you.’ She said as she finally released him from the hug.  
‘Clarke, you are the strongest and most stubborn person I know, if you thought it was the right thing to do, you’d have done it, with or without me.’ She thought for a moment.  
'You know, I used to think so, that I knew who I was, that I'd always stand up for myself, but since coming here, being in this environment, it's all so new. I feel like I'm starting from scratch.’ Bellamy nodded slightly.  
‘Yeah, I know what you mean. I feel like I'm just winging it.’   
Clarke smirked. When she had first met Bellamy, she had thought he was the most cocky, arrogant person she'd ever encountered. But she couldn't have been more wrong, it was all a front.  
‘Well, at least you're pretty good at acting confident. Most people wouldn't have a clue what a mess you really are.’ She teased, and they made their way to set together.

 

After filming of series one was finally done, they were given just a couple of weeks off before they were needed back to start filming season 2. During that time, the cast were invited to appear on a panel at comic con. Harper was crazy excited about it, Clarke too, but for Bellamy, the thought of talking in front of all those people made him incredibly nervous.  
For the last week he had been busy helping Octavia pack up her college dorm for the summer, but he and Clarke usually Skyped most nights. During their latest call, Clarke decided that to help Bellamy with his nerves, they should prepare for the panel by practicing some interview questions.  
Clarke tried to be serious at first, and ask him about his character and the plot, but eventually it descended into chaos, and using her best ‘interviewer’ voice, she started asking more and more ridiculous questions.  
'Which one of your co-stars is the most brilliant, though, would you say?’ Clearly he knew what she wanted him to say.  
'Oh without a doubt, it's the dog. No question.’  
'But, you are so fortunate as to work with the incredible talent that is Clarke Griffin, tell me about how amazing that is?’  
'Really?’ He asked, amused, but she ignored him and continued.  
'It must be so intimidating for you to act alongside her.’  
'Yes, yes it is. But that's mostly because she is a complete diva. Always throwing tantrums on set, demanding all her orange segments be placed largest to smallest, crazy stuff like that.’ Clarke slipped out of character at this.  
'It's the only way to properly eat them!’  
At 3 am, Clarke fell asleep at her computer after finally saying goodnight to him.

When she awoke the next morning, she had made a decision, and she had to tell Raven before she changed her mind. She burst into Raven’s room, jumping on her bed and waking her.  
'I’m gonna tell him, Raven. I'm gonna tell him I love him.’ This woke Raven up.  
'That's amazing! What made you decide?’  
'We've only been apart for a week and it's killing me. Even if he rejects me, I have to try, right? I think, our friendship is strong enough to survive it. I’ll tell him after comic con though, he's so nervous about it, I don't want to put any added pressure on him, especially if he doesn't feel the same.’  
'How could he not?’ Raven assured. Clarke wasn’t going to pretend the thought of telling him didn't terrify her. Every choice she'd ever made in the past regarding relationships always seemed to be the wrong one, all she could do was hope that this wasn't one of those times.


	11. Chapter 11

Comic Con!

The main cast, Jaha and the head writer, Becca, were all flown out to San Diego the following week for the comic con panel. The only abcense was Finn, not that Clarke was complaining.   
The crowd cheered as they walked onto the stage. As Clarke took her seat, she tried to take it all it. This was the first time she truly realised that people knew who she was.  
The people running the panel asked them questions about the season one storyline and their characters. The fans understood the show deeply, and it was humbling for Clarke. It was all going really well, until they directed a question to Bellamy that he wasn't expecting.  
'So Bellamy, I know you received high praise for a particularly moving scene where your character’s mother passes away. Was it something that you drew on your own experience for?’ Bellamy was knocked sideways. He had no idea they would have looked into his private life so thoroughly. He sat in silence, unable to speak. Clarke was just as stunned. She reached her fingers out towards his arm and just rested them there, so that he knew she was with him, then jumped in to answer for him.  
'I think, as any actor would tell you, at times it does help to draw from your own experiences. But mostly, you have to remember, we are actors, it's the job to try to relate to your character. They’re living in a world we can't possibly understand, so I think we all have to just do what we can to imagine how you would deal with the scenarios they’re placed in, and our team of writers are incredible at giving us the words to be able to portray that.’ She skillfully deflected the question and Bellamy was incredibly grateful. She had understood what he needed without words. Thankfully, the questioning moved in another direction after that.  
'So at the end of season 1, we see Seth and Mason leave on a dangerous mission, with Nicki staying behind with her injured sister. What can we expect from their return?’ None of them had any idea what was going to happen in season 2, but they were happy to offer their ideas, however, before they had a chance, Jaha stepped in to answer.  
‘I can't say too much about season 2, but I do have some news to share. It is with sadness that we have to announce that Finn Collins will not be returning for season 2. We wish him luck with his future projects of course.’  
This was news to all of them. What had happened? Had he quit, were they not renewing his contract? They all had a lot of questions, but the panel was still ongoing, and so they moved to audience questions. The first was from a young and incredibly excitable girl, and it was very sweet.  
'Umm, so this is kind of for Harper, but like, any of you can answer! I know that from your Instagrams that you guys all hang out and stuff? Like, do you all get along, because sometimes you’ll post pictures of Bellamy and Clarke fighting and stuff?’ Bellamy and Clarke could only laugh as Harper answered.  
'Yeah, we all get along great! Bell and Clarke are fine, they probably hang out more than anyone actually! Half the time I post them because it's just so funny to me, because they will argue over anything! The last one I think, was over mayonnaise!’  
'Because who puts mayonnaise on fries? It's weird?!’ Bellamy announced, to which Clarke pretended to be offended.  
'How would you know, if you won't try it!’  
Then came the next audience question.  
'I’m a total Micki shipper! That's Mason and Nicki, if you didn't know! I just don't get Nicki with Seth. Anyway, now Seth's not coming back do you think they have a chance?’  
At the mention of the Micki ship, the crowd cheered, and Becca answered.  
'You know, as a writer, you can't write chemistry. It really wasn't something we had thought about with these characters, but with Clarke and Bellamy, something amazing happens when they're in a scene together. The characters are supposed to dislike each other, but there's definitely a spark. I think it's something to keep an eye on.’ The crowd seemed very happy with this answer, and Clarke caught Bellamy's eye, feeling the familiar glow in her cheeks. 

 

When the panel finished, a very serious looking Jaha pulled everyone into a private meeting before they left. He stood before them, arms folded.  
'I’m sorry that I didn't get a chance to share the news of Finn's departure earlier, but it has been a difficult decision. Unfortunately, due to some of Finn's personal decisions regarding his behaviour, we have decided not to renew his contract.’ He stopped for a moment and took a breath, trying to keep control of his temper, with little success. ‘I will not have any personal relationships interfering with my show. If any of you wish to continue working here, then from this moment on there is a complete ban on any on set dating. Is that clear to everyone?’  
Clarke shifted nervously. Was this her fault? Did he know about her and Finn's previous relationship? She had always tried to be professional with him since their breakup, and their relationship had barely been anything. Maybe Finn had refused to work with her? She wanted to ask questions, but she had never seen Jaha this angry before, not even when she had confronted him about the sex scene. 

When the group got back to the hotel, they immediately called Monty and Jasper to fill them in on the details. Jasper took the lead, relishing a little in revealing the gossip.  
'Ok, so I heard, apparently Finn had been sleeping with one of the writers, to try and get a bigger part. But he was also seeing her assistant, and then they found out about each other, and all hell broke loose. Jaha’s not having it. He gave all the crew the same speech, told us that we’re all disposable, that this show is his big shot and he will not have any of us messing it up.’  
Clarke knew he was serious. Jaha had fired Abby just for being her mother, fired Finn over his antics, she had no doubts they were all expendable if they broke his rules. 

She had been so ready to tell Bellamy how she felt, and she was just beginning to believe he might feel the same way, but where did this leave them now? Bellamy needed this job, for Octavia. It was the first time in years he hadn't had to struggle for money, and it meant everything to him to be able to give her a future. Clarke would never risk putting his job on the line. 

At the same time, Bellamy was having similar thoughts. Over the last couple of weeks, he had really felt like he and Clarke were headed somewhere. There had been so many moments between them that were definitely not platonic. But now, what did this mean for them? Clarkes career was taking off, he could never do anything that might jeopardize her future.

Before the panel, Bellamy and Clarke had made plans to hang out that evening in Clarke's hotel room, and watch a film, but Clarke decided to cancel now, saying that she felt ill. The thought of being with him tonight, so close to him, but yet so far, was too much to bare.


	12. Chapter 12

Back home, Raven greeted Clarke excitedly. She hadn't heard from her while she'd been away and she was dying to hear how things had gone with Bellamy.  
'So, did you tell him?’ She asked, but as she did, Clarke fell into her arms.  
'I need a hug.’   
Raven held her, trying to understand. He can't have rejected her, it was obvious to anyone that had spent more than 5 minutes with Bellamy and Clarke that they were crazy about each other. She sat Clarke down and coaxed an explanation out of her.  
'You get it, right? I couldn't have told him, not now.’ Clarke stated after she had told Raven everything, but Raven wasn't so sure.  
'I guess I understand it causes a problem. But you still could have told him, let him decide if it's worth the risk.’  
'No, I can't put that on him. What if he does chose his career over me? What would that mean for our friendship? And what if he wants to be with me and we lose our jobs? I couldn't live with the guilt.’ Raven sighed, exasperated at her friends logic. Clarke always overthought everything.  
'Fine. But putting all of that aside, are you ok?’ Clarke knew it was no use pretending with Raven.  
'No. I'm really not.’ She lay her head in Ravens lap and finally allowed herself to cry. She had been holding the tears back for days whilst they finished up at comic con, and everytime Bellamy had even smiled at her, it had made her chest hurt. Raven stroked Clarkes hair. It was so hard for her to see Clarke like this that she found herself holding her own tears back, as she tried to comfort her heartbroken friend.

After a while, Raven suggested maybe they get out of the house for a little and grab a drink. It seemed like a good idea at first, but one drink led to another, and another, and before long Raven had lost count of how many drinks Clarke had consumed. As the night drew on, she found herself attempting to keep a severely inebriated Clarke from passing out. She called a cab, but it refused to take them as Clarke was throwing up. There was only one other person nearby who had a car, that she knew wouldn't hesitate to come and get them.

Bellamy had been trying to sleep all night, with no luck, when his phone rang. The caller ID said Raven. Why was she calling him in the middle of the night?  
'Raven? Is everything ok?’  
'Umm, not exactly.’ Her voice crackled in and out a little. 'Sorry to ask, but could you come and get us? Clarkes wasted and the cabs refusing to take us…’ But she didn't need to say anymore, as Bellamy was already getting dressed.  
'I'm on my way, just tell me where you are.’

As he pulled up outside the bar he could see Raven struggling to keep Clarke upright. He’d never seen her in this state before, and they had gone on some pretty heavy drinking sessions in the past. He jumped out and took Clarke from Raven and placed her in the back seat. Raven sat with her and held her head up.  
'How did she get like this?’ He asked. He couldn't help but be upset at how irresponsible they had been.  
'Hey, she's a grown woman, if she wants to have a drink, she can!’ Raven was pretty drunk herself, and was in no mood to be lectured.  
'I’m not trying to argue with you, Raven. But this just isn't like her. Clarke hates not being in control, you know that.’ But Raven couldn’t tell him the truth about why Clarke had gone so hard. It wasn't her place to interfere, no matter how much she wanted to.  
'She was just stressed and wanted to blow off some steam, that's all.’  
  
They were back at the apartment pretty quickly, and Bellamy carried Clarke inside. As he did, she briefly opened her eyes.  
'Bell. You're here.’ She smiled at him, then she realised he was holding her. 'I love these arms.’ Bellamy couldn't help but smile back. He gently lay her on her bed, but she clung on to his shirt. 'Don't go.’ She slurred.  
'You need to get some sleep princess, i’ll talk to you in the morning.’  
'And i love your voice.’ He laughed lightly at this.  
'Ok Clarke, I love your voice too.’  
'And I love…’ Before she could finish, she passed out again. Bellamy looked around for Raven. He wanted to make sure she’d watch Clarke in case she was sick again. But what he found was Raven also passed out in her own room. He didn't want to leave Clarke unattended in the state she was in, so he settled himself in the chair by her bed and watched her sleep.

When Clarke awoke the next day, there was a glass of water by her bed, which she gulped down greedily. She slowly made her way to the kitchen in search of aspirin, as pieces of the previous night flashed through her head. Had Bellamy actually been there, or had she dreamt that? She questioned Raven, who was already up, and she filled in the gaps for her.  
'You called him! Of all people Raven!’  
‘I’m sorry Clarke! I was pretty drunk too, and I knew he'd come. Would you have preferred I called your mom?’  
'God no! But, I can't believe he saw me like that!’ She furiously rubbed her aching head.  
'He was still here when I woke up. He sat by your bed all night you know, just to make sure you were ok.’  
'He did?’  
'Yeah. He said to make sure you drink all the water he left by your bed and that you eat something.’  
Clarke slumped herself down at the kitchen counter and lay her head on the cold worktop. She tried to remember what she had said to him.  
'I remember, something, I think. I told him, I loved his arms and then...oh god, did I tell him I love him? I can't remember?!’ She began to panic.  
'Would it be so bad if you did?’ Raven passed her some toast, doing as Bellamy had instructed.  
'Raven, we’ve been over this. Ugh, this is so hard! Why does he have to be so perfect!’ 

Once Bellamy was home he immediately dropped onto his bed exhausted. He had stayed awake all night, just in case Clarke had been sick, which thankfully she wasn't. Her words still echoed in his mind. She loved his arms, she loved his voice, she loved...? He tried to shake it off, after all, they were the words of a drunk person, they didn't mean anything. But he couldn't help but wonder what that last sentence might have been. I love...


	13. Chapter 13

Once Clarke had gotten over her embarrassment, she sent Bellamy a message, simply saying; Thanks, I’m an idiot. His reply was instant, and just said; Yes you are, you’re welcome, followed by some winky emojis and the vomit emoji. Raven continued to fuss over her all-day, and kept asking her how she was doing. She knew Raven meant well, but she couldn't take it much more.  
'We’ve talked about me enough, Ray. What's going on with you?’   
Raven perked up a little at this.  
'Well, I do have some news. I probably should have told you before, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. While you were away, I had a meeting with Flokru, they're an environmentally friendly tech company, and to cut a long story short, they've agreed to finance my project!’  
'What!? That's incredible!’  
'Well, I sort of owe it to you, Clarke. If it weren't for you giving me the PA job, and then allowing me to do literally nothing for you, I wouldn't have had the time I needed to work on my research and presentations. So, thank you, really, so much. But, I'm afraid, I'm going to have to resign now, is that ok?’   
Clarke laughed,  
'Of course it's ok! I'm so happy for you, Raven. I’d say let's go out and celebrate, but I think if I ever drink again I might die.’

A few days later, they were back on set and got straight into filming season 2. After having had a few days distance from Bellamy, Clarke realised she missed him too much to keep avoiding him. Hard as it was to be with him, it was harder not to be. It wasn't easy, and to make matters worse, it definitely looked like their characters were being pushed together romantically this season. The writers had decided they would write Seth out by saying he had gone missing during the mission, and Mason had returned badly hurt.  
The first few scenes they filmed had been of Nicki tending to his injuries, which required Bellamy to be shirtless and for Clarke to dress his wounds. As she lay her hands on his chest, her breathing quickened and her hands shook, just a little. The director praised her for her subtle portrayal of Nicki's nervousness around Mason, but Clarke was definitely not acting.  
It was hard not having Raven on set with her, as she was the only person she could talk to when she was feeling this vulnerable. Luckily, filming was moving incredibly rapidly, which didn't give her too much time to dwell on her heartbreak.

After a few more weeks of filming, Clarke had a surprise visitor. She got back to her trailer to find Octavia waiting for her.  
'Oh my god! What is it with you Blake's and trying to give me a heart attack!’  
'Sorry, Clarke, the door was unlocked, so…’  
'No, it's ok. It's great to see you. Bells not finished filming yet, though.’  
'No, I know that. It was you I wanted to talk to. I sort of need your help with something.’   
Clarke was a puzzled. She grabbed a drink and sat down opposite Octavia.  
'Ok. What is it?’ Octavia took a deep breath.  
'I need you to help me work out how to tell Bell I'm not going back to college.’   
Clarke was stunned into silence. She wasn't sure where to start, so Octavia explained further. 'I know it's what he wants for me, and I tried, I swear, but, I'm not happy there. It's not what I want to do. Plus, I'm fairly certain I failed my first year.’   
Clarke narrowed her eyes.  
'How can you know that?’  
'Because I missed half my exams.’ Octavia mumbled. Clarke threw her head back in frustration.  
'O, this will break his heart. He wants more for you.’  
'I know that, and I feel terrible, but college is not right for me.’ Clarke shook her head.  
'Do you at least have a plan for what you want to do?’  
'Kind of. I want to work in television. I love coming to set and being with you guys, making the show come to life.’  
'O, it's not that easy. It’s really competitive, finding an internship in this industry. Do you have any idea where to start?’  
'Well, that's the other reason I came to you. You've grown up around all this. I thought you might know.’   
Clarke sighed.  
'That's really my mom's area.’ Octavia looked disappointed. Clarke wanted to help her, but she really wasn't sure how. Then she had an idea.  
'Hey, I’m down a PA right now, Raven had to quit. Maybe, if you're interested…’   
Octavia threw herself at Clarke and hugged her.  
'Yes. Yes I'll do it! That's perfect, thank you!’  
'But you have to promise me you'll speak to Monty and Jasper about getting on to a college course while you're working, ok?’  
'Yes, i will, I promise. Will you tell Bellamy?’ Clarke's reaction was instant.  
'Oh hell no! That's on you.’ Octavia pouted in response, so Clarke sighed and relented, 'I’m not telling him for you! But I'll come with you when you do.’

Clarke sent Bellamy a text to come to her trailer when he’d finished filming. She didn't particularly want to get in the middle of Blake family business, but she knew Bellamy would be upset about Octavia's decision, and wanted to support him. When he arrived he was surprised to see Octavia too.  
'Is this an intervention?’  
'Well, you did have those 2 beers last week.’ Clarke couldn't help but joke.  
'I knew it!’ He laughed at first, but then got back to the point. 'Seriously, though, is something wrong?’ Octavia attempted to explain her feelings, but it didn't start well.  
'Bell, it's just. I’m so grateful, and you've given me so much, but, I’m sorry. Don't hate me, I just…’  
'O, just tell me, you're scaring me.’ She shouted the next part as quickly as possible, so quickly in fact that Bellamy had to get her to repeat it.  
'I dropped out of college.’ Bellamy's response was immediate, and he was furious. After a long lecture, he finally got down to asking her questions.  
‘So what's the big plan then? With no college degree?’  
'Well, I thought, maybe television? Not acting, but, something...’ She trailed off.  
'Something in television. Wow Octavia, could you be more vague?’ He spat sarcastically, before finally turning to Clarke. 'You knew about this?’   
Clarke wasn't sure how to respond. She had never seen him this upset. Before she could give him an answer, Octavia jumped in.  
'Don't blame Clarke. I just wanted her advice, she's the only person you'll listen to! Besides, I have more than that. I have a job offer.’ Bellamy raised his eyebrows.  
'Who's gonna hire a 19 year old with no experience or qualifications?’  
Clarke now realised just how pissed he was going to be about her offering Octavia a job, but there was no avoiding it, she had to tell him.  
'Well... actually. I am. I said she could be my PA.’  
'What the hell?’ Bellamy snapped, 'So you go behind my back, encourage my sister to drop out of school and hire her to do your dirty work?’   
Clarke was livid at this. Perhaps she should have spoken with Bellamy first before giving Octavia a job, but he had no right to speak to her like that.  
'First of all, don't ever talk to me like that. Secondly, it wasn't like that, if you would just calm down and listen.’  
'That’s just typical of you Clarke. You always have to swoop in thinking you know best.’ Clarke stood up. She had tried to stay calm at first, but now she was ready to fight.  
'This isn't about me, this is about you always wanting to control everything!’  
'Well it sounds like you've both got this all worked out.’  
'God, Bellamy, why are you doing this! Why are you so pig headed!’  
'I’m pig headed! That’s coming from you!’ Bellamy couldn't believe that the most stubborn person in the world was calling him pig headed. His frustration overcame him, ‘You know, this is why we’d never work, Clarke. You never think you’re wrong!’  
'And you never admit when you are! Your sister is her own person you don't get to tell her what to do, you’re not her parent!’  
With that final blow from Clarke, Bellamy stormed out. Octavia quickly apologised to Clarke, then ran after him. 

When Octavia eventually caught up with Bellamy, it was her turn to lecture him.  
'You need to go back in there and apologise.’ She scolded. He turned on the spot.  
'Me, apologise? For what?’  
'Is that a joke? You were completely out of order. Clarke has done nothing wrong. If you're mad at me fine, I get it, but it's not her fault.’  
'If you didn't have a job to walk into, maybe you'd consider going back to college, but she didn't think of that.’  
'Bellamy, I'm done with college. I failed my first year. I can't do it Bell.’  
'You can try again.’  
'No, I'm done. Clarke just offered me a way into the industry, that's all. She's already made me promise to study part time while I work. If you'd have actually listened to her.’   
Bellamy rubbed his face in his hands. Maybe he had been a little hasty, but they'd still gone behind his back, and the line about not being Octavia's parent, Clarke must have known how much that would hurt him.  
'That's not her decision to make, O’  
'And it's not yours either. It's mine. I meant what I said, you've sacrificed so much for me, and I'm so grateful, but I'm an adult now, you can't make my decisions for me.’  
'I just, want the best for you.’ Octavia stepped forward and took his hand.  
'And I want that for you too. Which is why I need you to go back and apologise to Clarke. She is by far the best thing that has ever happened to you. You need her.’

But he couldn't bring himself to go and see her. So much had been said. He had been awful. Even if she would give it, he wasn’t sure he deserved her forgiveness.


	14. Chapter 14

Clarke had sat alone in her trailer for hours, trying to calm herself. Her heart beat rapidly and her head was pounding. He had been an ass. She knew he'd be upset about Octavia, but Bellamy's behaviour had been completely out of line. On the other hand, she hadn't meant for it to go that far either. She didn't mean to say he wasn’t Octavia’s parent, when she knew how hard he’d worked to raise Octavia on his own for so long. He had just been so rude, she couldn't stand it. She really didn't want to cry, but once her anger had passed, all she felt was hurt.

She refused to be the one to make the first move. She told herself that he should be the one to seek her out and apologise. But he never did. A few days later, they were back filming together, and the atmosphere was tense. Just seeing him made her stomach flip, but not the with the usual butterflies she used to get, now, she just felt sick. He didn't seem angry with her, but neither did he acknowledge her. They got through the scene well enough, and as they did, Clarke resolved that perhaps she would be the bigger person, and be the first to speak, just to get things moving.  
As Bellamy sat waiting for the set to be redressed for the next scene, Clarke approached him, chin up, shoulders back, trying her best to stay strong.  
'I just wanted to say. I shouldn't have said you weren't Octavias parent. I know how hard it was for you, bringing her up alone.’  
‘Thank you for saying that.’ He gave her a small nod, but said no more. Clarke turned and began to walk away, but shortly after stopped again and swung back around to face him.  
'That's all I'm apologising for though. I stand by my decision, Octavia's starting as my PA on Monday.’ Bellamy rolled his eyes.  
'You couldn't just leave it. You had to get the last word in.’  
'You still don't think you should apologise, do you?’ She asked, bewildered. He stood up from his chair so that he was closer to her.  
'Actually, I was going to say sorry. Maybe I was a jerk, and I was angry. But I had a right to be. You should have talked to me first, before offering her a job. I might have had a chance to talk with her about college, get her to change her mind.’   
Clarke shook her head in disbelief.  
'You can't possibly think you could convince her to do something she doesn't want to do. You're not that arrogant.’  
'And you know my sister so well, you know what's best for her.’   
She rubbed her forehead, feeling a frustrated headache coming on.  
'We’re really doing this again? The same shit as before. You had no right to speak to me the way you did.’  
'I shouldn't have raised my voice, I admit that. There's so much I shouldn't have said. But I can't apologise for being upset.’  
‘Of course i understood you’d be upset, it doesn't give you the right to be an asshole. We’ve fought in the past, Bell, but, that was before, you know...us.’ She struggled to find the words to describe what they had become, what they were to each other. She waited for him to fight back again, but he stayed silent. 'What, no come back this time?’  
'I don't know anymore Clarke, I…’.  
Clarke wasn't exactly enjoying their arguing, but at least they were getting their feelings out in the open, trying to salvage something. For him to just stop fighting altogether felt so much worse. It meant he’d given up.  
‘No, I understand. I thought our friendship was stronger than this but, it's like you said. We never would have worked right?’ Ever since he had said those words, they had stuck in her mind. If that was really how he felt, then what hope was left for her, for them, to be - more. She swallowed hard, fighting back her emotions. ‘We’re both too stubborn. Maybe it's best we just, take a break from each other for a while. This fighting, Jaha wouldn't like it. Let's just, be professional from now on.’  
Bellamy’s heart broke at her words, but he said nothing. He screamed at himself internally to say sorry, to beg her for forgiveness, to just do something. But he remained unmoving, unspeaking, as he watched her turn and walk away from him.

Over the next few days, they both worked hard to try to hide their conflict on set. Jaha wouldn't stand for any personal issues getting in the way of his project, but it was plain for their friends to see that something awful had happened.  
Bellamy had not spoken a word about his fight with Clarke to anyone. He couldn't bare to think about it, but eventually, after much probing from Miller, he finally opened up.  
'Man, it's you and Clarke. Don't you think your friendships worth more than this? Why won't you do anything about it?’ Miller questioned. Bellamy struggled to explain,  
'It's too hard. All of it. Yeah, at first I was just pissed, but honestly...she's better off without me.’  
'I don't think she'd agree, you know, when you're not being a jackass.’   
Bellamy wasn't so sure anymore, every time he saw her now, the silence between them was deafening.  
'Its too much. I let her in, then my own sister goes to her instead of me?’   
But Miller was having none of it.  
'Yeah, so what? Get over it. You're not the only person in Octavias life. So what's the real reason?’ Bellamy knew exactly what the reason was. His voice was barely more than a whisper, as he struggled with the admission.  
'Being with her, everyday, but not being with her. It’s too much. I can’t do it anymore. I get angry, and defensive and frustrated…’  
'You're an idiot.’   
Bellamy had no argument for that.

It was two more weeks of silence and awkwardness before one of them finally spoke to the other. Miller and Jackson had announced that they were moving in together. They had been a couple ever since they had met all those months ago at the bar, and they were having a huge house warming party to celebrate. Both Bellamy and Clarke were invited, but Clarke had told Jackson she wasn't sure she should go. Miller and Bellamy were best friends, and she didn't want things to be awkward or do anything to spoil their big night. When Jackson had relayed this to his boyfriend, Miller had to interfere, just a little, and promptly told Bellamy.  
'Well, that's not right.’ Bellamy responded, ‘Of course she should be at the party. I don't want her to miss out because of me. I’ll stay home.’ Miller sighed in frustration.  
'Or, you could just go talk to her and you could both come.’ 

It still took Bellamy a while to build up the courage, but eventually he caught Clarke at lunch with Octavia. He stood awkwardly in front of them, unsure how to start. Octavia watched them quietly.  
'Hi. I just wanted to say, you shouldn't miss the party, not because of me. I’d feel terrible. I mean, Raven’s gonna be there and everyone.’   
Clarke looked up at him. She hadn’t spoken to him as Bellamy in so long, it had been purely Nicki talking to Mason. It felt odd.  
'Look, Bellamy, it’s Jackson and Nate's big night, they don't need any tension there.’  
'I’ll be on my best behaviour, I promise. Please, Clarke?’ She hadn’t heard him say her name in so long, and she realised how much she’d missed it.  
'Ok. I’ll come.’ She agreed. Bellamy smiled at her, and she tentatively smiled back.  
'Good. Ok. I’ll see you there.’ With that, he left. It had only been a short interaction, but they had both survived unscathed. It was a start.


	15. Chapter 15

Clarke felt sick the whole day leading up to the party, and in the end, Raven practically had to drag her there.  
'Clarke our friends, who would not have met if it weren't for us, if you remember, are moving in together! That's huge, they're being actual grown ups, we have to be there!’  
'Ok, ok, but please, please stay with me.’  
'You guys need to get over this. You know the reason you can't move past it is because there's still feelings there. You still care about each other.’   
Clarke really hated it when Raven was right, which unfortunately for her, was all the time. They grabbed a drink together and danced and Clarke began to loosen up a little. After much dancing and sweating, Clarke made her way outside to get some air, and bumped straight into another girl. She apologised quickly, and realised she recognised her as a barista from the local coffee place the cast frequented. Her name was Gina. She was really lovely, and always made polite small talk with Clarke.  
'Getting some air too? It's so hot in there!’ Gina happily chatted away, 'Oh, so, I heard that it was you who set them up right?’  
'Oh, well, not really.’ Clarke replied, ‘My friend Raven worked with Jackson and we all met up, it's not really that interesting.’  
'Oh right. Bellamy said something, but nevermind!’  
'You're here with Bellamy?’ The realisation hit Clarke hard.  
'Kind of. I mean, he invited me. He's pretty great.’  
'Yeah, yeah he is. I’m sorry I have to pee.’ She knew she had been blunt, but she had to get away, and it was the only excuse she could come up with to leave a perfectly nice conversation.   
  
Her immediate instinct was to leave the party, but she couldn't find Raven to tell her. In the end, she decided to wait by the drinks table, Raven would have to show up there eventually, but instead of Raven, she found Bellamy. He was the last person she wanted to see right now. She had a million feelings racing through her all at once. She was still upset with him over their fight, but the thought of Bellamy with someone else made her sick. She still loved him, and it was painful and confusing. She wanted to turn and walk away from him, but she didn't want him to think she was avoiding him and causing an issue at the party. Bellamy smiled at her, and asked her if she wanted a drink, to which she simply nodded.  
'Are you ok, you looked a little flushed?’ He asked her. She took a second to compose herself, slowing her breathing, before she answered.  
'Fine, yes. It's just all the dancing. Are you having a good time?’   
He shrugged.  
'Yeah it's ok. I'm really glad you're here, Clarke, I’d have felt terrible if you missed the party because of me. I...I really wanted to talk to you, actually. I mean, now’s probably not the right time, but maybe we could meet at the coffee place tomorrow?’   
Clarke frowned slightly.  
'I don't know if that's a good idea? Us sitting there together, where Gina works?’  
'Gina? What does she…’ Bellamy trailed off, confused.  
'Its ok, I bumped into her outside. For what's it's worth, I think she's really great.’  
'Really. You do?’ Bellamy questioned. Now it was starting to make sense. Clarke thought that he and Gina were together.  
'Yeah, she's sweet, pretty. I'm really happy for you.’ Out of all the acting Clarke had ever done, this was probably her best performance yet. But she had no idea her approval was only hurting Bellamy.  
'That’s how you feel?’  
'Of course. I’d better find Raven, enjoy the rest of your night.’ It took every ounce of strength she had to hold her smile until she was out of sight of him, and the tears escaped her.  
As she left, Bellamy felt shattered. He had hoped that tonight might have been the beginning of them working things out, of at least starting to get their friendship back on track. He knew how stupid he'd been. He still missed her every day, still loved her, and as it turned out, it hadn't been made any easier by being apart. But she didn't seem affected by their fight at all anymore, in fact she was wishing him well and moving on. It was clear to him now, that whatever they had been to each other before, he didn't matter to her anymore.


	16. Chapter 16

A couple of days later, Clarke was once again filming with Bellamy. Their characters were getting even closer, and she had hoped that things between them would have thawed slightly since their talk at the party, but throughout the morning he was distant and abrupt with her. She wasn't sure what had changed. At the party, he’d seemed like he wanted to work things out, but now, he was back to stony silence. Ok, she had rejected his invitation for coffee, but only because she didn't want to make his girlfriend jealous. She was trying to be thoughtful. Clarke began to feel like no matter what she did, things would never be right between them again, and the thought devastated her. She had always kept a small shred of hope that somehow, they would find their way back to each other. Now that hope was gone. 

They began the scene, just the two of them. Their characters were fighting about Nicki wanting to go on a supply run, but Mason didn't want her to go, as it was too dangerous. They had just finished the first take, when the director approached them.  
'Hey, Guys, that was great. Now, I know it's not in the stage directions, but we’ve been talking, and we think, we’d like to film a take where Nicki and Mason kiss. We’re not sure if we’ll use it, but, Mason's so worried, and Nicki's so determined, it feels like maybe, Mason would kiss her at this point.’   
At first, Clarke just stared open mouthed at him, then she tried to speak.  
'I, I...isn’t it a little soon for her? After losing Seth? I know she cares for Mason, but…’  
'Possibly. Like I said, not sure if we’ll use it, their first kiss is actually scripted for the next episode, when she comes back safe and Mason is overcome with relief. But, I feel like, maybe putting the kiss here might raise the stakes a little, with her leaving.’  
Of course Clarke understood the reasons narratively. That was not the reason for her reluctance. She felt her body shake. The director talked them through what he wanted, but Clarke struggled to hear him, the sound becoming muffled as if she were submerged underwater, as she began to panic. Bellamy grew frustrated.  
‘Can we just get on with it, we’ll figure it out.’ He stated bluntly. The director moved away and called action. 

Bellamy stood before Clarke. Had he always been this tall? He said his last line to her again, then placed his hands on her upper arms, his lips were inches from hers, but as he leaned in closer, uncontrollable tears began to stream down Clarke's face. Bellamy stopped dead.  
'Clarke?’ She could feel everyone's eyes on her, and, completely overwhelmed, she turned and ran out of the room.  
Bellamy immediately followed. He called after her but she kept running, finally stopping when she reached the empty office set.  
'Clarke?’ He tried again.  
'Just leave me alone Bellamy, I just need a minute ok?’  
Bellamy couldn't stand seeing her so upset.  
'Clarke, what is it? Talk to me.’   
She was holding so much inside she couldn't take it anymore. She turned to face him, still crying.  
'I can't do it like this, you’re so angry with me and I can't… our first kiss shouldn't be like this!’  
'What?’ He asked, stunned. Clarke realised what she had said and quickly corrected.  
'Our characters. Our characters first kiss. The fans have waited, it should be right…’ She tried to catch her breath as Bellamy stepped closer to her.  
'You said our first kiss.’ Clarke just looked at him, giving him no answer. But it didn't matter. Bellamy was sure of what he’d heard. ‘Clarke, of all the ways I imagined our first kiss, this wasn't it.’  
'You imagined..’  
'For one, I thought that we’d be alone.’ This earned a brief laugh from Clarke, as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.  
'Yeah, me too. And i didn't think you'd hate me.’  
Bellamy exhaled heavily and shook his head.  
‘I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I hate myself, for what I did to us. I am so sorry, Clarke. I have no excuse for my behaviour. I should have apologised earlier, I should have been on my knees, but, I was so ashamed of myself, I just thought you’d be better off without me. Then, when you told me how happy you were for me, with Gina, I realised, I'd really lost you. You really didn't care anymore.’  
'Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how hard it was for me, to pretend that I was ok with it. I, I do want you to be happy, I just…’ She stuttered.  
'I’m not. I'm not happy. Not without you. Gina's just a friend, thats it. And as for our fight, I just… I've been alone for so long, trying to make the best choices for Octavia, then in a few short months of knowing you, my sister likes you better. Trusts you, opens up to you. I feel like I'm always fighting to make the right choice for her, and in one second you gave her everything she wanted. Honestly, I was a little jealous. I felt useless.’  
‘I didn't mean to make you feel like that.’  
‘No, Clarke, it's not your fault, it's my insecurities, my issues, I had no right to ever put that on you. I have to let Octavia grow up, but, it’s hard. And it's hard letting my guard down. Letting someone in. I'm an idiot, Clarke. I have no right to even ask this, but can you ever forgive me?’   
It was everything she had been waiting to hear and more. She gave him a small smile.  
'I think so. I know I can be interfering, I just wanted to help, but it's your family, I shouldn't have gotten involved.’  
'No, you should, I want you to. Besides, Octavia put you in the middle, and she was right, I need you in my life. I want you in my life.’ He closed the remaining space between them, gently placing his hands on waist, and looked deep into her eyes, ‘I love you.’  
In a fraction of a second, Clarke leaned forward and kissed him. Her arms wound around his neck and she pressed herself tightly to him. He responded instantly, kissing her hard in return. They clung to each other as if they would never let go, pouring every piece of themselves into the kiss. Her hands found his hair as his wrapped around her, squeezing her tighter still against his body. Eventually, when they pulled away, breathless, Clarke was the first to speak.  
'I’ve wanted to do that for so long. I love you too.’ Bellamy smiled and kissed her again. Their first kiss had been desperate, filled with longing, this time they were gentler with each other, they took their time. Bellamy couldn’t believe this moment was really happening. He didn't feel like he deserved to be this happy. 

When they finally came up for air, Clarke still had her arms around Bellamy's neck, not wanting to let go, but slowly, reality dawned on her.  
‘Bellamy, what about Jaha, the no dating rule? You need this job, you’ve worked so hard. I can't be the reason you lose it.’ It could just as well be her who gets fired, but she didn't care about herself, she just knew how long Bellamy had struggled financially, and didn't want him to go through that again.  
‘Clarke, If it's a choice between you or this job, I choose you, every time. In fact...’  
He gently took her hands from around him, and, keeping hold of one, pulled her with him. He walked outside, moving swiftly, not saying a word.  
'Bell, wait, where are we going? Someone will see.’  
'I don't care.’ He said lightly.  
'Bell, we can keep us a secret, sneak around maybe?’   
At this, he stopped for a moment.  
'Clarke, I can't do that. I want everything with you, I don't want to hide.’ Then he pulled her to him once again, putting his arms around her, 'Besides, there's no way I could keep my hands off you for that long.’ He smirked suggestively, raising his eyebrows, which made her laugh. 'As long as that's ok with you?’  
'I just don't want you to lose your job.’ Bellamy just smiled at her. He did love this job, but he knew now what was really important to him.  
'Do you trust me?’ He took a step back and offered his hand to her. She rolled her eyes, but was amused by the cockiness of the gesture, so she took it and followed him once again. Quite frankly, in the afterglow of that kiss, she might just follow him anywhere.


	17. Chapter 17

They were soon at Jaha's office. Bellamy did not wait or knock, but strolled straight on through the door and made his announcement.  
'Jaha, sorry to interrupt, but I need to tell you, I am in love with this woman and I want to date her. I don't care if you fire me, I have to be with her. I’ll step aside, I’ll quit if I have to, but it has to be me, you need Clarke on this show, she's incredible.’  
Jaha, who had been sitting at his desk in the middle of a phone call when they had burst in, looked at Bellamy with disdain. He signed off from his phone call and addressed them.  
'I’m not sure where to start. That was the director on the phone. Apparently you both walked out in the middle of a scene and he’s been trying to track you down. This is what you felt was so important you had to interrupt filming for?!’  
'Again, I’m sorry, about the timing anyway, but there it is. You've heard what I've had to say. Now I’ll happily go back and finish the scene, but first, I need an answer.’  
'I do not appreciate ultimatums Mr.Blake!’  
'Ok, then. Well, I quit. I’ll finish up whatever you need, but then I’m done.’   
Clarke had been silent this whole time, in shock and dare she say, awe of Bellamy's boldness.  
'Bellamy, you can’t…’ Clarke tried, but he just smiled again.  
'Both of you stop.’ Jaha cut in, ‘I can't stand the martyrdom. So this is your choice Mr.Blake? She must be pretty important to you.’ To which Bellamy simply replied.  
'She is.’  
'It won't just be this job either. I can make it so that no studio ever hires you again.’ Jaha continued, spitefully.  
'You still haven't answered. All I care about is Clarke's future. She's worked so hard to get here. Me, I stumbled into this, I’ll find something else, as long as I’m with her, I’m happy.’  
Jaha said nothing at first, but gestured for them to sit down. He leaned back in his chair and put his feet on the desk.  
'You know full well I can't fire you. You've got me in a bind. The fans are nuts for you both. But I do not appreciate being held to ransom like this.’ It was Clarke's turn to step in now, as it seemed to require a more delicate response.  
'We are sorry. We’re not ungrateful. You just put us in a desperate position. We’ll be completely professional, you have my word.’ Jaha sighed, removing his feet from the desk and leaning forward, his demeanor softening.  
'You know, I really don't enjoy being the bad guy. There are a lot of people that need this show to be a success, and they're all counting on me to keep them in work. The situation with Finn was unavoidable, quite frankly, he was, unpleasant. But if I allow you two to date, then everyone will start to believe they can break my rules. There will be chaos.’  
'You’re wrong.' Clarke said firmly. ‘I’m sorry, but there it is. Everyone wants the same thing, we’re a team. But you don't lead a team with fear and intimidation, you lead them with respect.’   
Bellamy watched her speak with adoration. She truly was incredible. Jaha narrowed his eyes at Clarke.  
'You two are to do this properly. Officially. Check in with HR, and if it doesn't work out, I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to be able to even tell there's an issue, you will continue on as if everything is fine, no disruptions. Is that clear?!’

They left Jaha's office, hand in hand, and headed back to set, to finally film Nicki and Masons first kiss, still on a high from their own.

They decided to go for dinner that evening. Even though they already knew each other so well, Bellamy wanted to do things properly, and take Clarke on a real date. They quickly got back in sync with each other, being friends was never the problem, it was the unresolved feelings that lay unspoken that had caused their troubles. Now, everything was out in the open, they were a couple, and everything between them was heightened. Every touch, every look, felt like it was leading somewhere.  
They sat across the table from each other, fingers linked together, and Clarke couldn't wipe the smile from her face.  
'So, what was it then? The moment you knew you loved me?’ Clarke asked, half teasing, but also genuinely curious.  
'Princess,’ He used her nickname slowly and deliberately, ‘I have been in love with you since the moment you first called me an arrogant know-it-all.’  
'You know, that's not as romantic as you think it is! You could have said it was when you found out how kind I was, or how smart, or passionate!’  
'You're really correcting me on this?’ He laughed. Of course she was, it was Clarke. 'Ok, honestly. Every single moment I spend with you, I love you more, how can I possibly choose just one?’ Even though he was messing around, she still lent across the table and kissed him. 'Right, your turn, when did you know you loved me?’   
Clarke thought for a second.  
'Do you remember, a couple of months after we met and i accidentally walked in on you showering? Definitely then.’ Clarke gave him an over the top wink and they both fell about laughing.  
She knew exactly when she realised she loved him. It was when he told her about the beanie. That ridiculous wool hat that he wore no matter what the weather. The one that his mother had made for him one Christmas, when she was too sick to go out shopping and too poor to afford to buy anything regardless. Bellamy had shared with her that he wore it to keep his mom with him, that he didn't feel so alone when he did. As he had told her, it made her heart ache for him, but it wasn't sympathy she had felt, it was love. Love for a man that could sacrifice his childhood and his chance of a future to take care of his family.

They talked a lot about their relationship that night. About how they should take things slow, rebuild their foundation. Bellamy completely agreed as they made their way into his apartment. Clarke definitely thought they should wait as she unbuttoned his shirt. Bellamy absolutely knew that rushing into things wasn't a good idea as he kissed his way down her body. Clarke stopped pretending she wasn't going to stay the night as she dragged him into his bedroom.  
When she awoke, she couldn't remember feeling more content in her entire life. She curled herself into his side and ran her fingers across his chest.  
'That tickles.’  
'Sorry.’ She giggled, 'Couldn't help myself.’ Still half asleep, Bellamy rolled on to his side and kissed her. He stroked the side of her face and looked deep into her eyes.  
'I can't believe you’re really here.’ Clarke smiled and kissed him again. This was exactly how it always should be.

Over the following months and years, their relationship only grew stronger. Nothing could derail them, even when Jaha made the decision to bring back a certain character to the show who had been classed as ‘missing’.  
Finn was asked to return as Seth in season 3 after it was explained that his character had been kept prisoner. The intent was for it to cause problems for Nicki and Mason, who had become a couple on the show, but Finn couldn't help but attempt to stir up trouble between Clarke and Bellamy too. He tried to make Bellamy jealous, telling him that he had 'been there’ first. But it didn't even come close to working. If anything, Bellamy felt sorry for him, because how could anyone be happy if they had lost Clarke? Eventually, Jaha made the decision to kill him off once and for all.  
Abby was asked to rejoin the series as a producer too, after Jaha realised he had been a little hasty. He did not have the respect of the cast and crew like Abby did, and he desperately needed her help. She accepted happily, after a substantial pay rise.

There were still bumps in the road to overcome. When Survive the Night finally ended after 6 seasons, it hit them hard. Nicki and Mason may have lived happily ever after, but for Bellamy and Clarke, the future became more uncertain.  
They had been fortunate to be able to work on the same show all this time, because it meant they could live together. Now if and when they booked a new role on a film or a series, they might be separated, miles apart, maybe for weeks at a time.  
But ultimately it didn't matter. Bellamy knew he would follow Clarke to the end of the world.  
Raven had once told Clarke that she was dreaming, to think that she could find the kind of partner that would challenge her and support her, that could be her friend and her lover, but Clarke had found everything she'd ever wanted in Bellamy. She really was a spoilt bitch!


End file.
